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Our Poor Democracy
Our poor democracy, so broken and bent
Its hopes and dreams, so long since spent
What once was free, now so corrupt
The people's voice, should now erupt
The privileged few, still standing tall
While the rest of us, feel so small
The future of our nation, so far away
Our children, their dreams, so far astray
Our leaders, so out of touch
Their words, a lie, so often clutch
The people, so desperate and in need
Their cries, no one hears, their hearts bleed
Our poor democracy, so far from free
But hope still lives and we must all see
That together, we can fix this mess
And stand for truth, and nothing less
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Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-11-15 10:15
Dear Friend Clentin,
your poem speaks the words of our painful situation especially in the United States. Our political leaders have failed us, some of them have disgraced us. but in the end you give us hope! thank you for this. These are my favorite lines:
Our poor democracy, so far from free
But hope still lives and we must all see
That together, we can fix this mess
And stand for truth, and nothing less
your words ring true...
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Clentin
Wed, 2023-11-15 10:33
Thank you very much. It
Thank you very much. It really disturbs me to listen to the news. We are supposed to work together to solve problems.
Sometimes i feel as though we are creating a third world country ruled by a dictator! I am not talking about Biden!
Republicans and Democrats are to work together not to be enemies. Today I see two camps fighting each other.
My thoughts.
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2023-11-15 12:38
What we have here...
is a Republic, but no matter, as he has said, the politicians have failed us, and we have failed the republic. By not getting rid of the ones who go against our wishes, and just voting the party-line, we miss the opportunity to get rid of the deadwood, the ones who are not measuring up. Once they find out that they are being held accountable they will either do better or get out and become Wall St. executives. Oh, wait, those are the guys in charge now, aren't they? I think that you could pare this down just a bit with getting rid of a connecting word or two, but I would suggest that only to make some lines as long as others. No big deal if you don't, but... Try twisting the positions of the words, to make things shorter or longer. Add or delete as necessary. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Clentin
Wed, 2023-11-15 13:15
Than you. Yes we are a
Than you. Yes we are a Republic but still need the cooperation and leadership of all the elements of our government.
A Republic is a Democratic form of government. Should i Change the title?
Thanks for the comments.
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2023-11-15 14:26
Absolutely agree...
with you, and absolutely do not change the title,. [just a little aside there, that's all. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Clentin
Wed, 2023-11-15 15:57
Thanks.
Thanks.
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