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Oblivion

Submitted by Richard Milne on Wed, 2023-05-10 15:03

“Willfully blind,” the paper said
and all the world knew it was true
though so many refused to acknowledge it
even to themselves

And so the once proud country
now caught in the gears of machinery dedicated to power and party
domination and debasement
slipped ever more closely
circling, spinning
toward the gaping maw of obliteration

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Some people find poems with a political theme obnoxious or inconvenient. or simply disagree with the thrust. But if they cause a reader to think, even for a second, that's probably a good thing. Right now it appears to many people are choosing not to do that.
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Contest: 
Neopoem Of The Week Contest May 7th to May 13th 2023
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2023-05-10 15:03

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Oblivion" offers a bleak and haunting perspective on the current state of world affairs. The speaker laments the willful blindness of so many people who refuse to acknowledge the truth about their society's decline. The imagery of a once-proud country caught in the gears of machinery dedicated to power and party domination is particularly effective in conveying a sense of helplessness and despair. The repetition of the words "circling" and "spinning" create a sense of inevitability, as if the country is caught in a downward spiral from which there is no escape.

One suggested line edit to improve the poem's flow and rhythm would be to replace the word "debasing" with "debasement" in the third stanza. This change would eliminate the awkwardness of having two verbs back-to-back and create a stronger sense of the country's descent into darkness.

Overall, "Oblivion" is a powerful and thought-provoking poem that captures the sense of despair and hopelessness many people feel about the state of the world today. The use of vivid imagery and repetition create a sense of inevitability that is both haunting and unsettling.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Richard Milne

Wed, 2023-05-10 20:54

Thank you, I appreciate the feedback

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2023-05-10 16:54

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that you are right, in your assessment of the readers. we are all so tired of the constant bombardment with people's political agendas in the media, that we tend to turn off and tune out. I am sorry if that has made you think that your work passes unnoticed. It isn't true; it is just a trend of late. Believe me, I noticed, but as I have so many other things going on at any one
time, I often fail to comment or respond. Sorry! I believe that your opinion is valid and hope that you will continue to write.
A good, concise treatment of the situation currently. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Richard Milne

Wed, 2023-05-10 21:00

Thanks I appreciate the feedback. The note was not in regard to people not noticing what I write, which matters little, but not waking up to what is clearly going on around us all. So many seem to pretend that it is all "no big deal." We've seen this in the world before, with Nazi Germany, for example. Hard to believe, but it appears that the stakes are even higher today...

Again, thanks for the response.

author comment

Richard Milne

Thu, 2023-05-11 12:59

Thanks, we all need to hang in there and, to the best of our abilities, sound the call for sanity and reason. Pessimism is well founded these days but there is also goodness and light to be found, even if in small doses, magical moments and hopes for a new dawn -- in this world or the next.

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Fri, 2023-05-12 05:40

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I have these feelings. They used to make me angry. I used to plea for logic. I got tired, then I got angry and now I’m basically indifferent. I change the world by my choices and actions and the rest way outside my scope. Bending the hearts and minds of people is for sociopaths regardless of intent. This red vs. blue narrative is the product of the abolition of the FCC ‘s fairness doctrine in the 1980’s (I’m looking at you Ronald Reagan). This created the cable TV 24/7 news cycle and this allows news casters to report on events based on political affiliations and chosen narratives rather than just reading the facts and not presenting any opinions about the matter. When you need to “report news” 24/7 you run out of material so you start to extrapolate and the public doesn’t understand the difference between Tucker Carlson’s ramblings and actual factual information.

It’s a mess

Richard Milne

Fri, 2023-05-12 19:17

I for one will keep trying to open eyes, at the very least with those I know and love. Peace.

author comment
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