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My First Bicycle Ride

My first bicycle ride
it takes me back to
my childhood memory
a precious gift for my birthday
instill me with a curiosity
like a baby’s step
learn how to walk
with the count of 1-2-3
despite the many falls
I beam with a smile
carry with determination
of mindset
keep on going
like the energetic bunny
it did not daunt me
until I get it right
with the persistent practice
I never give up
to find fear as an excuse
learn from my flaw
to make it better
success comes to a place
with the victory embrace
that bring joy and pride

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem effectively uses the metaphor of learning to ride a bicycle as a symbol for persistence and overcoming challenges. It successfully captures the essence of childhood experiences and the determination that comes with learning new skills.

However, there are a few areas that could be improved for clarity and impact.

1. Grammar: There are several grammatical errors in the poem. For instance, "despite of the many falls" should be "despite the many falls". Similarly, "with the persistent of practices" should be "with persistent practice". Correcting these errors will improve the readability of the poem.

2. Consistency: The poem switches between past and present tense. For instance, "it takes me back to my childhood memory" is in the present tense, while "instilled me with a curiosity" is in the past tense. Maintaining a consistent tense throughout the poem will enhance its flow and coherence.

3. Imagery: While the poem does a good job of conveying the emotions associated with learning to ride a bicycle, it could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. Instead of saying "like the energetic bunny", consider describing the specific actions or feelings that this metaphor is meant to evoke.

4. Structure: The poem lacks a consistent structure, with lines varying greatly in length and rhythm. Establishing a more consistent rhythm or rhyme scheme could make the poem more engaging and memorable.

5. Show, Don't Tell: The poem often tells the reader what the speaker is feeling or doing, rather than showing it through descriptive language. For example, instead of saying "I never give up", consider showing the reader how the speaker perseveres despite challenges. This could be done through descriptions of the speaker's actions, thoughts, or physical sensations.

Overall, the poem has a strong theme and emotional resonance, but could benefit from improvements in grammar, consistency, imagery, structure, and use of descriptive language.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Hello, Hon,
I feel the perseverance here, especially with the line, "I beam with a smile."
I enjoyed this!
Thank you,

Thank you for the positive feedback

author comment

Thank you Big AL for your constructive feedback. I made some changes.

author comment
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