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Mr. Window...
Steaming hot oatmeal
A cup of coffee light
to chase away the cobwebs
gathered in the night
T.V. news and weather girls
Local headlines here
Ads for cleaning products
Some for artificial tears
Gameshows, full of people
looking to make a buck
Sneering fashionistas
getting by with ....s
Who are all these people?
Do they live next door?
I've seen them out my window
Are they bringing us their war?
Wait... here's Mysteries Unexplained
and Ancient Aliens
I've seen them all so many times
they are all like friends
In between the repeats
I gather up my soul
I put my secrets to their death
while playing rock and roll
So, what gets me through the day
is the thought of "life's still sweet"
even though half my friends
I will probably never meet
That's okay, it's for the best
my feet of clay can hardly stand
Don't strip away my cool veneer
instead, just shake my mental hand
Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2023-12-04 21:40
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem's structure is consistent, which aids in its readability. The use of rhyming couplets throughout gives the poem a rhythmic quality that helps to engage the reader.
The poem's theme appears to revolve around the idea of isolation and the role of media in shaping our understanding of the world. The repeated references to television programs and the speaker's interactions with them suggest a commentary on the influence of media on our lives.
The poem could benefit from a more precise use of imagery. While there are some vivid images, such as "steaming hot oatmeal" and "a cup of coffee light," these are not consistently used throughout the poem. More detailed and evocative imagery could help to further engage the reader and enhance the poem's thematic depth.
The poem's tone seems to be one of resignation and acceptance. This is conveyed through phrases like "That's okay, it's for the best" and "Don't strip away my cool veneer." However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of this tone. For instance, the speaker could delve deeper into their feelings about their isolation and their reliance on media for companionship.
The final line of the poem, "instead, just shake my mental hand," is a strong ending. It encapsulates the speaker's desire for connection, albeit a non-physical one, and effectively concludes the poem on a poignant note.
In conclusion, the poem has a clear structure and theme, but could benefit from more detailed imagery and a deeper exploration of its tone.
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Candlewitch
Mon, 2023-12-04 15:53
Dear Geez,
Is there a typ-o here?:
while the playing rock and roll
I thought I would ask before reading the rest of the poem
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Mon, 2023-12-04 16:28
Now, on to your poem...
These lines I really relate to:
That's okay, it's for the best
my feet of clay can hardly stand
Don't strip away my cool veneer
instead, just shake my mental hand
I may be wrong about the content meaning of your poem. Because my window to the world used to be the television set. I watched current events and world and local news. I actually became physically ill,and they gave me nightmares! Living in a very small city helps and having a gun (which I have been trained in its usage: Identify your target and shoot to kill) first tell them to halt and raise their hands. If the do not stop, then their choice has been made. the rest I will have to live with...
*hugs, Cat
p.s.
now we use our t v for football, video games and movies on video.
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Mon, 2023-12-04 18:43
You got...
it in one! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
RoseBlack
Mon, 2023-12-04 21:38
Window to the world
So many interesting folks that we never get to meet....the window keeps us coming back and looking for more. Sometimes these strangers feel like lost family or friends. Good write.
~RoseBlack~
Geezer
Tue, 2023-12-05 07:52
T.V. is...
much like an extended family. Thank you for your read and comment. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Tue, 2023-12-05 19:21
Mr.Window...
Hello, Geezer,
"I've seen them all so many times, they are all like friends." I've read that we tend to watch the same movies and television shows over and over because they become familiar and comforting to us, especially in the evening as we settle in. What's familiar truly does get us through the day! Wonderful title!
L
Geezer
Wed, 2023-12-06 10:12
Yes...
it's true, my news shows and the game shows are like old friends. Thank you for the read and comment.
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Clentin
Wed, 2023-12-06 07:28
Very good poem. To me it
Very good poem. To me it reminds me of the routines that keep us on a type of schedule. Coffee, newspapers, TV etc. dominate the start of our day.