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Locked In a Basement
No idea how this happened
I’m completely in the dark…
Stay calm and don’t get maddened
This basement’s pretty stark
Must come up with something
I need a lightbulb moment
Desperate times, at straws I’m clutching
No vision and the scent here’s potent
I now empathise with blind men
Albeit for just one day
I'm feeling like a caveman
Without wall drawings on display
Thirsty like a duck out of water
And hungry like a whale
Alone like a lamb to the slaughter
But I was freed to tell the tale
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2024-05-05 15:10
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Rula
Sun, 2024-05-05 15:17
Hello M.Keen
Nice to read you.
Seems to be a bad experience. I would have liked to know how you've been locked in that basement.
I could feel all the depression you went through if that is a true experience.
Thank you for sharing
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Michael Keens
Sun, 2024-05-05 15:59
Definitely not true! It’s a
Definitely not true! It’s a poem, fiction is aloud :)
author commentMichael Keens
Sun, 2024-05-05 16:00
*allowed
*allowed
author commentRula
Sun, 2024-05-05 17:02
Of course it's allowed
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Rula
Sun, 2024-05-05 17:03
Of course it's allowed
and your writing is very much.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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paleoray
Fri, 2024-05-17 23:25
A fun little poem - glad you escaped
I liked the way you describe different fear and anxiety imagery that runs through your head while being locked and trapped in a basement. This seems to be the main emphasis of your piece. Your caveman imagery is my favorite. I’m not sure if I have heard of the simile as thirsty as a duck out of water before. Did you possibly mean as thirsty as a fish out of water? Anyway…nice job.
Michael Keens
Sun, 2024-05-19 00:57
' I’m not sure if I have
' I’m not sure if I have heard of the simile as thirsty as a duck out of water before. Did you possibly mean as thirsty as a fish out of water? Anyway…nice job'
Ha no it was deliberate. I wanted to combine duck out of water (feeling uncomfortable) with being thirsty with said duck not having access to water which led onto wales having huge appetites so sticking to an aquatic theme. I can't see any reason to not alter the known quotes for the sake of writing but maybe it is a bit confusing.
Thanks for the feedback.
author commentTawny023
Mon, 2024-05-20 21:33
I liked this poem and
I liked this poem and definitely longed to know how you were in the basement and you were freed, which is not a bad thing. The anxiousness in the middle of the experience was on full display. The imagery and phrases made me feel like I was holding a flashlight then cutting it off then turning it back on just to see how wild it would be to experience totally darkness in a dank basement.