Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Locked In a Basement

No idea how this happened

I’m completely in the dark…

Stay calm and don’t get maddened

This basement’s pretty stark

Must come up with something

I need a lightbulb moment

Desperate times, at straws I’m clutching

No vision and the scent here’s potent

I now empathise with blind men

Albeit for just one day

I'm feeling like a caveman

Without wall drawings on display

Thirsty like a duck out of water

And hungry like a whale

Alone like a lamb to the slaughter

But I was freed to tell the tale

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Nice to read you.
Seems to be a bad experience. I would have liked to know how you've been locked in that basement.
I could feel all the depression you went through if that is a true experience.
Thank you for sharing

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Definitely not true! It’s a poem, fiction is aloud :)

author comment

*allowed

author comment

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

and your writing is very much.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I liked the way you describe different fear and anxiety imagery that runs through your head while being locked and trapped in a basement. This seems to be the main emphasis of your piece. Your caveman imagery is my favorite. I’m not sure if I have heard of the simile as thirsty as a duck out of water before. Did you possibly mean as thirsty as a fish out of water? Anyway…nice job.

' I’m not sure if I have heard of the simile as thirsty as a duck out of water before. Did you possibly mean as thirsty as a fish out of water? Anyway…nice job'

Ha no it was deliberate. I wanted to combine duck out of water (feeling uncomfortable) with being thirsty with said duck not having access to water which led onto wales having huge appetites so sticking to an aquatic theme. I can't see any reason to not alter the known quotes for the sake of writing but maybe it is a bit confusing.

Thanks for the feedback.

author comment

I liked this poem and definitely longed to know how you were in the basement and you were freed, which is not a bad thing. The anxiousness in the middle of the experience was on full display. The imagery and phrases made me feel like I was holding a flashlight then cutting it off then turning it back on just to see how wild it would be to experience totally darkness in a dank basement.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.