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Keep Me Close
Crystal clear
Icy waters
Shower me
Skin soaked
Peel back the layers
Sunkissed exposure
Moonlit affairs
Between the flames
Passion's droplets
Pouring over
Breathless moments
Shaken limbs
Hold me now
Before it's over
Time stands still
For no one
Graft my spirit
To your soul
Close is where
I need to be
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-04-11 19:49
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem uses vivid imagery to capture the intensity of a passionate moment between two lovers. The contrasting images of crystal clear water and fiery passion create a dynamic tension that propels the poem forward. The repetition of the phrase "keep me close" adds a sense of urgency and longing to the poem, emphasizing the desire to hold onto the moment before it slips away.
One possible line edit could be to replace "Imbedded" with "Embedded" in the last stanza for grammatical accuracy.
Overall, "Keep Me Close" is a well-crafted poem that effectively conveys the intensity of a romantic encounter. The use of sensory details and repetition help to create a sense of urgency and longing, making for a memorable and emotionally resonant poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
RoseBlack
Tue, 2023-04-11 22:45
Thank you
Glad you liked it!! It was a quick but meaningful write.
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Wed, 2023-04-12 12:50
Keep Me Close
Hello, Carrie,
"Graft my spirit to your soul." Extraordinary thought, especially with the title.
Beautiful poetry.
L
RoseBlack
Wed, 2023-04-12 15:48
Hi L
I had help with that line. The original wasn't nearly as fantastic. Glad you enjoyed!
~RoseBlack~
Clentin
Thu, 2023-04-13 16:14
Likes very much. Intense,
Likes very much. Intense, passionate. Words show the intensity
Of feelings.
Great
RoseBlack
Thu, 2023-04-13 17:20
Thanks Clentin
Glad you enjoyed!
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Fri, 2023-04-14 17:58
dear Carrie,
great title, good flow like a waterfall. I will be back tomorrow to read again and give you my thoughts on your poem.
yours in spirit, sisters of the blade! Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-04-15 07:34
Thank you Cat
I look forward to your comments
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-04-15 07:29
dear Carrie,
my favorite lines are:
Passion's droplets
Pouring over
Breathless moments
Shaken limbs
(and the "graft my spirit to your soul" line is terrific!) actually, the whole damned poem is a piece of great artistry!
*hugs and smiles, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-04-15 07:36
Thank you
I had some help with the Graft my Spirit line...sometimes my own thoughts are pretty bland. I am glad you enjoyed this.
~RoseBlack~
Unca Fez
Sat, 2023-04-15 07:35
This Is How To Describe An Indescribable Moment
What a beautiful description of those rare moments when two people's souls mingle and, for a brief moment, there is no world except that which is in them.
Thanx,
Steve