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THE JOURNEY

Sometimes it seems just right
To make a brand new start,
A chance to listen closely
To the calling of your heart.

A move so close, yet far away
To a place only you can choose,
A trek towards new horizons
If determined you cannot lose.

More than a pursuit of self
Perhaps to find a better way,
A chance to grow and prosper
And to conquer every day.

So what will be the future?
You can choose to make it bright,
Refuse to let the past dictate
And fight with all your might.

Your journey starts this very day
As you open a new door,
The possibilities are endless
As new horizons you explore.

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How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively utilizes rhyme and rhythm to create a pleasing flow. However, it might benefit from a more diverse vocabulary to add depth and nuance to the themes of self-discovery and personal growth. For example, instead of using common phrases like "make a brand new start" and "conquer every day," the poet could experiment with more original, evocative language to convey these ideas.

The poem also tends to tell the reader the message directly, rather than showing it through imagery or metaphor. Adding more sensory details could help to create a more immersive, engaging experience for the reader. For instance, instead of stating "Your journey starts this very day," the poet could describe the sensations of setting off on a journey, such as the feel of a cool morning breeze or the sight of a road stretching out into the distance.

The structure of the poem is consistent, which contributes to its overall readability. However, the poet might consider varying the length and structure of the lines or stanzas to create more dynamic rhythm and pacing.

Lastly, the poem's theme of personal journey and self-improvement is universal and relatable, but it could be made more specific and personal to give the reader a deeper connection to the poem. For example, the poet could include details from their own experiences or observations to make the poem's message more tangible and unique.

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I like the way your poem bounces along (at least for me). It is a mild preachy ending but not overdone as I did not feel a blunt bit of advice there. You let us know that it came likely from your experiences (by the kindness of those last few stanzas).
Thanks,
Mark

I was here now I disappear..

Thanks Mark for your comments. I appreciate you taking the time to read. All my best. - Will

author comment

Hello, William,
A motivating poem, full of encouragement! A lovely pace and tight rhyme. "Refuse to let the past dictate..." Yes, to that!
Thank you!
L

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