Blast! Where have I put them?
I've looked all through the place;
Can't find the instruction manual,
Nowhere is there a trace.

Never mind, I'm not that stupid,
Though some may think it so,
I'll show I can put it together;
I'll take it nice and slow.

Lets see now, this bit goes here,
Perhaps this bit goes there,
Yes got it, ooooooo! a wee bit tight,
A strong push, it'll be alright.

Now this bit mmmmmmmmm, I'm not too sure
Let's see if it fits here;
A nice sharp twist, a hefty shove,
I'm moving up a gear.

Now, the blue bit goes in this hole,
And the red bit goes down there,
This screw must hold this thingummy,
So this bit must be spare.

Better tidy all this mess up
Before the boss comes in,
You know what they can be like
Get all rubbish in the bin.

Run round with the vacuum cleaner,
What's that clatter I can hear?
Just a few odd screws and washers
And bits from I know not where.

Never mind now all is ready
I'm doing really well
Everything set for checking
Plug in, switch on, Oh Hell!

What's that hiss I'm hearing?
What's that rubber smell?
From where's that smoke emitting?
It could mean my death knell.

Jam it all back in the box
Tell her it wouldn't work.
Get it back down to the store,
Get a refund from the clerk.