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Instructions! Who Needs Them?

Blast! Where have I put them?
I've looked all through the place;
Can't find the instruction manual,
Nowhere is there a trace.

Never mind, I'm not that stupid,
Though some may think it so,
I'll show I can put it together;
I'll take it nice and slow.

Lets see now, this bit goes here,
Perhaps this bit goes there,
Yes got it, ooooooo! a wee bit tight,
A strong push, it'll be alright.

Now this bit mmmmmmmmm, I'm not too sure
Let's see if it fits here;
A nice sharp twist, a hefty shove,
I'm moving up a gear.

Now, the blue bit goes in this hole,
And the red bit goes down there,
This screw must hold this thingummy,
So this bit must be spare.

Better tidy all this mess up
Before the boss comes in,
You know what they can be like
Get all rubbish in the bin.

Run round with the vacuum cleaner,
What's that clatter I can hear?
Just a few odd screws and washers
And bits from I know not where.

Never mind now all is ready
I'm doing really well
Everything set for checking
Plug in, switch on, Oh Hell!

What's that hiss I'm hearing?
What's that rubber smell?
From where's that smoke emitting?
It could mean my death knell.

Jam it all back in the box
Tell her it wouldn't work.
Get it back down to the store,
Get a refund from the clerk.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Yer a bad boy! I hope the boss does not catch you disposing of the evidence! A great poem and a fun read. good luck on the contest!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

In truth the boss usually does these things herself, without instructions. I may be allowed to assist in removing from the box or lifting heavier objects, Alex.

author comment

No shit, what else do you need to know.

Today never knows what tommorow will bring!

In all sincerity, the very first thing I do with "in-fuckin-structions" is bin them!
they are obviously wrong and invariably written in Chinese or Swhaili...

Obi..... thanks fer the grin.....

Glad to make you smile. See my reply to Cat. Alex.

author comment

Hello, Alex,
This is great from start to finish!
Thank you!
L

A bit of fun, Happy you appreciated it. Alex.

author comment

A bit of fun indeed! Great flow and humour in this all too common scenario of "some assembly required" purchases. Perfectly fitting for the times!

Thomas

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...so like my lost dreams...the flood

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