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I Call Home

Submitted by Depressed 1 on Sun, 2023-01-29 02:48

Down, down in the dark, I call home

I am surrounded by quiet stones

The bones they do not ever bother me

I can be whoever, whoever I want to be

Stones etched with weathered names

Why they left, from where they came

With dates to mark the passage of time

Of their lives and of my decaying mind

One stone has no name and no date

On someone, it calls and does wait

Then, then I will be where I call home

Just resting with all the other bones

Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2023-01-29 19:13

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one seems a little ragged in the meter and
I'm not too sure about the double words, but I like it.
I think the meter can be fixed by:

1] The bones, they do not bother me
2] With dates to mark the passing time
3] Of their lives, my decaying mind
4] One stone has no name or date
5] On someone, it calls and waits
6] Just resting with the other bones

As always, this is your work, and you are welcome to use or discard any or all of my ideas.
~ Geezer.
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Depressed 1

Mon, 2023-01-30 06:41

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Thanks Geezer

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

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Candlewitch

Mon, 2023-01-30 06:58

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I really like it as is, probably because I am clinically depressed and on medication for it. I think a little disjointed works because it is how you feel...I like honest!

*hugs, Cat

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Depressed 1

Tue, 2023-01-31 22:31

Depressed 1's picture

Thanks Cat. I have been feeling that way a lot lately. Work seems to be just piling up on me here lately. Fortunately I have found a few different outlets lately.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

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