Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Dark Road

Submitted by Depressed 1 on Wed, 2023-11-01 02:02

Took a turn at the end of a dark road
Best place for my burdens to unload
Strangled my feelings until they died
Buried them way deep down inside
Pressure down on me until I am broken
Tortured by love words never spoken
Drowning in my own suffering pain
Burning me like a never-ending flame
Sacrificed my cold blood on the floor
For the love I have never felt before
In an empty dark, no heart can be found
Suffering through hurt with no sound
Silent eyes look on me with forebode
Made me take a turn onto a dark road

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Wed, 2023-11-01 08:02

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

Wed, 2023-11-01 06:29

dear Depressed,

I have not read many poems with rhyming couplets (2 by 2 by 2 etc.) that are not choppy and clipped...yours is one of the few...great job. you get your ideas delivered in a plain and smooth function! very nice. by-the-way, your poem is quite relatable!! great job!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Depressed 1

Thu, 2023-11-02 04:37

Thanks

Thanks for reading and your comment.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

author comment

Lavender

Wed, 2023-11-01 11:48

Dark Road

Hello, D1,
Your poetry is always straightforward with few words, but full of meaning and emotion. The rhythm is smooth and the rhyme is logical and not forced. I especially like the first and last lines, the way they parallel each other and wrap around the entire poem.
Thank you,
L

Depressed 1

Thu, 2023-11-02 04:38