The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Hidden Heart" presents an exploration of the narrator's journey into someone else's emotional landscape. The use of metaphor and imagery is effective in conveying the secretive and delicate nature of this exploration.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of metaphors. For instance, the "boma" in the second stanza is an African term for a livestock enclosure, which might be confusing for readers unfamiliar with the term. It might be more effective to stick with the castle metaphor introduced in the same stanza, which is more universally understood and could be expanded upon to create a more vivid image of the emotional fortress the narrator is trying to penetrate.

The rhyme scheme (ABAB) is consistent throughout the poem, which gives it a rhythmic flow. However, the meter varies, which can disrupt this flow. For example, the line "lest you fix me with a frown" has more syllables than the other lines in the same stanza. Adjusting the meter to be more consistent could improve the poem's rhythm.

The final stanza effectively conveys the narrator's guilt and fear of being discovered. However, the phrase "no greater crime is committed" might be overly dramatic and could be rephrased to better fit the tone of the rest of the poem.

Overall, the poem effectively uses metaphor and rhyme to explore the theme of emotional intrusion, but could benefit from more consistent use of metaphors, a more consistent meter, and a tone that is consistent throughout.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Excellent rhyme and it flows well throughout. I didn't know what a boma was until I read the AI's response. I like the line lengths, they add to the poem in terms of meter.
In this one line I think you need an extra word to maintain the meter? "as you dealt with drama" If you add who the drama belongs to, so your, my, our? Great poem, it has purpose and progress within a story, and it held my attention. Ruby :)

And so very true. No emotions can leave people who care feeling lost, insignificant and betrayed. Then there are days where I wish I was emotionless and could just walk away....

Hello, Geezer,
Really enjoyed this... trying to see what is within a person's heart, especially when they are trying to keep you out. I noticed that S2L3, and S3L3 have rhymes within the line - very clever, and I felt like I wanted more of that pattern. Very nice!
L

reading your poetry is always effortless for me.you are a very smooth dude.
I find that in my passing daze/days, I am freeing up some, but much remains a flood of the hidden. keep on surprising us with your talents.

*love, Cat