Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Haiku #6

Submitted by Loki on Fri, 2022-12-30 05:17

A low sun watches
a poorly swept-up frost; hang its'
cobwebs out to dry.

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Fri, 2022-12-30 06:01

Rosewood Apothecary's picture
Volunteer badge

What can a guy say but bravo. What a linguistic photograph you’ve got here.

Gorgeous
Tim

Loki

Fri, 2022-12-30 07:30

Loki's picture

Thank you indeed.

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2022-12-30 08:24

Geezer's picture
Volunteer badge

that picture of dew dropped web blowing faintly in the warm sunshine! Like Mrs. Spider just washed the sheets from her bed.
Nice stuff. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Jackweb

Fri, 2022-12-30 11:25

Jackweb's picture

Personifying the sun is a very beautiful poetic device used in the poem. Nice one!
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Loki

Fri, 2022-12-30 14:44

Loki's picture

Yes......I strive to personify without sentiment to help the reader to access the images. Difficult though to stay minimalist.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.