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Different...
In striving to be different
We are all the same
For the very thing we want
Is to make a name
Too many times we wish for
Things we cannot obtain
Oh, how much I want to
Show just what I've gained
I'm not the same, I assure you
I have my dreams, you see
Yes, that's only thing so different
Between you and little old me
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-12-29 18:20
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Different..." effectively utilizes a straightforward rhyme scheme (ABAB) which aids in maintaining a consistent rhythm throughout. This structure helps to engage readers and facilitate understanding of the poem's central theme.
The theme of individuality versus conformity is a common one in literature and is presented clearly here. The poem explores the paradox of striving for uniqueness while simultaneously seeking acceptance and recognition, a universal human experience that many readers will likely resonate with.
However, the poem could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of its theme. The statements made are quite direct and leave little room for interpretation or deeper analysis. For instance, the lines "Too many times we wish for / Things we cannot obtain" could be more impactful if they were less explicit and more metaphorical or symbolic.
The final stanza introduces a first-person perspective which somewhat disrupts the general, collective tone established in the earlier stanzas. If this is intentional, it might be helpful to make this shift more pronounced to highlight the contrast between the collective and individual perspectives.
In terms of language, the poem uses simple, accessible vocabulary. While this can be effective in creating an inclusive reading experience, the poem might benefit from a more varied vocabulary to create a more engaging and evocative reading experience.
Lastly, the phrase "little old me" in the final line introduces a colloquial tone that is inconsistent with the rest of the poem. If this is intentional, it might be helpful to introduce this tone earlier in the poem to ensure consistency. If not, consider revising this phrase to maintain the poem's overall tone.
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RoseBlack
Fri, 2023-12-29 14:53
I really like
The feel and flow of this. It is so very true though. We just want to make a name and show people what we have accomplished. Well done.
~RoseBlack~
Geezer
Fri, 2023-12-29 15:34
Thank you...
This just came to me as I read something about everyone wanting to be different and not knowing how. One of those ads for a self-help course of some such thing. Glad you enjoyed. ~ Geez.
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RoseBlack
Fri, 2023-12-29 15:57
I've always been different
I think now I am striving for normal
~RoseBlack~