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December 21, 2012
Here it's December twenty first
as I roll, drowsy, out of bed
grab a Coke to quinch night thirst
caffiene clears cobwebs from my head
Just the I hear a roll like thunder
as a roiling front approaches
blowing raked leaf piles asunder
they scurry 'cross the yard like roaches
The storm comes and then it goes
nothing much to speak about
so I put on my work clothes
open the door and head on out
I note that the air looks funny
as it all goes deathly still
clouds have fled though and it's sunny
I shiver with arriving chill
And as I drive on down the street
i pull up at a red stoplight
and overiding radio's beat
a vibration starting out real light
But the rumble quickly grew
and my car began to shake
as a big diesel hove in view
and applied its loud air brakes
Then it rumbled on its way
leaving peaceful quiet behind
on the long forecast type type day
this date so many keep in mind
Suddenly I hit the brakes
a panicked heard of deer flash by
from a stand of trees that shakes
then fall in dust beneath clear sky
As earth moves and tall trees crash
bulldozers appear as they work
turning a small copse to trash
as their engines roar and perk
This twenty first December day
is what this poem is about
not some Mayan prophecy
a subject that has been worn out
* and what were you expecting ? lol
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Sun, 2012-12-16 18:43
Stan
Damn, and here was me waiting for you to turn the calender over to 22nd Dec as you wound your tired way home.
Sorry mate we have a few more days to go, we must ask the Aussies as it will happen there first lol, but maybe they will all be gone and then we wont know anyway.
We is in a quandary as we don't know what we is going to be, dead or still in debt, loved your write I thought you were just having a bad day lol..
I will let you know if I am dead and gone so you can get ready..I will send you an "E" Mail
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
scribbler
Sun, 2012-12-16 20:16
Hi Ian
You know what will happen after the clock tolls midnight on Dec 21? Dec 22 will begin lol...........stan Hmmm........I did a poem called STUPID MAYANS. Might be a good time to dig it back up. Appreciate the visit...........stan
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2012-12-17 22:58
I liked it but...
it could use a little smoothing out. Your re-occuring theme of the destruction of natural habitat is great as usual and I would like to see the kinks ironed out of this one. As to the Mayans being stupid, I don't think so. Their prediction has been mis-interpeted and mis-represented. It is not about the end of the world, it is about the end of the world as we know it! I don't think that it is going to be a big change on that date, but we will have reached a milestone that once reached; will eventually change the world as we know it. Our world climate is changing at an ever increasing rate. The U.S. is the breadbasket of the world right now. What would happen if the midwest were to have another dustbowl? What if the places we depend upon for food were to suddenly have a drought of more than a year or two, or maybe turn to desert ? ~ Gee
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scribbler
Tue, 2012-12-18 10:29
Hi Gee
As I understand it the Mayan caledar ends on that date. All this stuff about the end of the world is our own invention. But the world Is undergoing climactic change, but this is hardly the first time. When Greenland was first discovered by vikings they named it so because at that time it Was green. But the it grew colder.
I think the US could survive a change in which part of it turned desert. If the midwest did so, the southeast and west could pick up the slack. Of course the rest of the world would be up the creek without our being able to export food..................stan
author commentloved
Tue, 2012-12-18 10:49
did the calculators
make a correction
Mayan was lunar
now a days we all follow Gregorian
have breakfast with me
at Tifanny's
22nd Dec mourning
loved
Ian.T
Tue, 2012-12-18 13:58
Loved
Shall I lay a place for you at my table, on 21st then we can walk a while and watch Jupiter rise in the East, then sit quietly as the world stays the same.. La La , Yours Ian
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..