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Caught In A Rain Storm

Submitted by Clentin on Wed, 2023-10-04 07:03

Caught in a rain storm,
My heart races with fear
As thunder booms around me.

The rain pours so hard,
My clothes are soaked through.
My shoes squelch with every step.

My hair sticks to my face
As I search for shelter,
But there's nowhere to hide.

The wind howls past me
As I stumble along,
Trying to reach safety.

Finally I find cover,
A small, dry place,
And I can rest for a while.

The thunder eventually fades,
And the rain begins to slow.
I can continue on my way.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
October 2023 Challenge Write a poem about being caught in a rain storm
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2023-10-04 09:46

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very much like a Haiku, I would love to see it expressed as one. Very well done, by the way. ~ Geez.
.

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Lavender

Wed, 2023-10-04 13:59

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Hello, Clentin,
I love the simplicity of this - it's very tangible. You bring the reader into your personal physical experience with the rainstorm. All the stanzas are three lines except the first - I wonder if the first line of the first stanza is necessary.
I think this is a favorite among your poems!
L

Clentin

Wed, 2023-10-04 14:28

Clentin's picture

Thanks for your help. I think you were right about the first line. I edited it.
Thanks again

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Shelby Pryor

Wed, 2023-10-04 22:40

Shelby Pryor's picture

This paints a vivid mental picture. I can mentally picture someone trudging through the rain to find shelter. But it always reminds me of how we have to keep pressing toward in our lives when we're in a storm. Great work!

Clentin

Thu, 2023-10-05 03:03

Clentin's picture

Thank you for your comments. There are different types of storms we endure. I was thinking of just a normal reaction to a storm.
Again, thankyou

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