If I were to comment on content I woud be infringing on your freedom to write as you wish

taking the dialect into considering I found your poem to be most ernjoyable to read. Your description of the music and instruments holds a lot of imagery
Chrys
Welcome new poet

One question, are you cajun, because that's the only way this write works for me. my girl friend is real cajun from the bayou. So is this what you are, because that is what I get from this musical write. Like a ritual of sotrs.
great write.
As they say down south, take your shoes off and stay a spell, here at neopoet. Welcome to our home.

Eddie
...

this is seriously different. I'll be honest and say I'm not sure I liked it, but once I settled in the thing kind of rolled on its own. As to the dialect, I got the feeling you held back. I suspect you have a much stronger "accent" in mind and I think the poem could have supported it. Sometimes it appeared you used a more traditional phrasing in hopes of not confusing the reader, but because the poem is just one, mighty emotional blast I don't believe you would confuse more than you have. I had a little trouble following, but I don't think it would be worse with more dialect.
Is this the nature of most of your poetry or do you go other places?
I hope you show us.
Welcome.
wesley

I hear this in its garble gabbled with virtuosity
like a real rap noise beating through with caught views and visions;
and although it seems not to make sense it has a music to it,
pressing buttons at random which is probably how you wrote it.

I think you need a little conducting here and there
and possibly slightly more continuity of thought here and there
and some of the word spellings are way out there,
like bits of words but they don't work for me.

Fun idea could be developed into 'something.'

Ann.

Welcome to the Neo Poet family. I enjoyed the read as a journey to a place I have never been before. I am dyed in the wool rock & roll, but appreciate alternatives. an interesting write.

always, Cat