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Permanent Loan

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Mon, 2024-07-08 08:38

What an amazing thing hope is.
It has no senses to rely on, but
I often feel it, or see it, or hear it
in the voices of those who’ve been afflicted.
It can be given and shared with others.

It can exist in desolate spaces, calmly.
Impervious to troublesome circumstances
I sometimes allow purchase
in the borderlands of my thoughts.

And if you lose your hope don’t panic!
You’ve known me long enough to know
you can always borrow some of mine.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Last few words:

Hope, always hope!

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Tue, 2024-07-09 12:03

Permanent Loan

Hello, Michael,
An inspiring write, and perfect title for one of the greatest gifts to give.
Thank you!
L

Michael Anthony

Wed, 2024-07-10 23:36

I would not want to live

I would not want to live without it! Thank you for stopping by L!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2024-07-10 10:28

For the second time today, I have thought that a little two letter word can make a difference.
That word is [it]. The line I speak of is: "I sometimes allow [it] purchase in the boderlands of my thoughts."
Well done sir! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Michael Anthony

Wed, 2024-07-10 23:36

Thanks Geez! Given the

Thanks Geez! Given the subject in the full sentence is intended to be the plural "troublesome circumstances", the singular "IT" doesn't seem appropriate here. Maybe I'm technically wrong, or the sentence is a bit unclear or clumsy as presented within the stanza?

Impervious to troublesome circumstances I sometimes allow "IT" purchase in the borderlands of my thoughts.

Grammar be hard - LOL!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Geezer

Thu, 2024-07-11 12:55

I took...

the thought of [it] from the preceding lines:
"It can be given and shared with others."
"It can exist in desolate spaces, calmly."
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Neopoet

Permanent Loan