Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Daydreaming
Sometimes she sat there next to me far away.
I imagined she could have been talking with the stars
and looking at all the colors she could taste there.
Or far away of a different kind; ancient Samarkand maybe.
I had no idea where she might go. I would always be patient though,
and wait for her return.
We would often speak about her journeys
looking out our front window at a garden of roses,
with thorns we were never afraid of.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2024-09-22 11:39
I can't imagine...
the loss of a friend like that. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
LilacsandLace
Sun, 2024-09-22 16:24
Simple and lovely
I read this several times over before commenting. At first read, it's simple, the meaning seemingly vague but there. Upon a second and third read, it stirred a bit more. To sit with someone while they are off in another world is patience indeed, and to welcome it as a rose and its elegance instead of the thorns some would think it to be, is sweet.
"We would often speak about her journeys
looking out our front window at a garden of roses,
with thorns we were never afraid of."
Upon those additional reads, this verse gave me pause. To accept someone as they are means embracing both the good and bad, but to not fear the flaws in them, or the bad of the world that inevitably comes, indicates a union that is strong despite the tendency to daydream. A lovely poem.
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2024-09-25 10:49
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece LAL! I felt this was one of my more subtle poems, and you summarized the meanings exactly as I was trying to convey them. Be well, and thank you for taking the time to engage with this piece.
Best
Michael Anthony
Lavender
Sun, 2024-09-22 16:39
Daydreaming
Hello, Michael,
Being in the present moment, even when the moment may not be in the present. A melancholy feeling, yet a sense of gratitude. I'd love to know the significance of Samarkand, if it's not too personal.
Thank you,
L
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2024-09-25 10:55
Thank you L, and well said.
Thank you L, and well said. With Samarkand, I was trying to illustrate the different types of distance - both physical (stars), and time (ancient Samarkand). Samarkand is supposedly one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities on our planet. Plus, I just love the sound of the name when you say it out loud. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Best
Michael Anthony
Candlewitch
Sun, 2024-09-22 16:50
Dear Michael,
allow me to echo what Lavender asked? A beautiful poem which I read twice, and took a break and then came back to partake once again of your bittersweet memories...
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Michael Anthony
Wed, 2024-09-25 10:57
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Cat!
Best
Michael Anthony