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Cool Breeze
Sometimes, it seemed she burned
bridges for warmth. Sometimes
while I was still crossing them.
I learned to look forward
to the cool breezes of being gone.
I wasn't bitter though. She needed to be free
to understand the properties of fire.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2024-09-12 08:47
Yes...
There are those that cannot wait for the traffic to clear, before burning the bridge that they have already crossed.
The title is good and represents the theme, which I can appreciate. The message was sent immediately and was made clear while getting to the end. My one criticism is that you could have used another word instead of [sometimes], in the second line.
Perhaps, [often]? Brevity with clarity, nice job. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Michael Anthony
Tue, 2024-09-17 15:41
Thanks Geez! I like your
Thanks Geez! I like your suggestion about using "often". Always appreciate your comments!
Best
Michael Anthony
Lavender
Thu, 2024-09-12 11:04
Cool Breeze
Hello, Michael,
A unique and healthy way to look back on what could have been a harsh memory. Your last stanza is so powerful - I felt no bitterness at all, but a peaceful closure.
Thank you!
L
Michael Anthony
Tue, 2024-09-17 15:43
Thank youL! Well, there was
Thank youL! Well, there was probably a touch of bitterness, but it passed as I processed wjhat it all meant. Glad you liked this one!
Best
Michael Anthony
Leslie
Fri, 2024-09-13 08:33
cool breezes
I understand the concept of burning bridges, I'm on the fiery side.Im amazed that you remaied unscathed. I wish my kids could say the same,but it will take some time. I thought that this we beautiful.
Today never knows what tommorow will bring!
Michael Anthony
Tue, 2024-09-17 15:46
Thank you Leslie! As I
Thank you Leslie! As I mentioned to Lavender, it took a bit of time to become unscathed by it all. I did get there though, and it's been a better place, to be sure. Appreciate your comments.
Best
Michael Anthony