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Your Leather My Lace

stripped of feelings
freedom from my heart,
might trip again but
will not fall apart.

you will never know
the mess you made.
trying to get inside
let it go, it will fade.

you think you know me
but you're wrong you do not.
I have fanned my fire
from warm to glowing hot.

you had the real thing
but threw it away,
now you dare to ask
for me to stop and stay.

I no longer care
so I give fair warning,
you may spend the night
just be gone before morning.

don't want to see your face
I've already run that race,
you have shown your leather
but I won't share my lace!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
a poem about my life before Steven!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Two of my favorite things. I love how you used them to show the difference between you and the antagonist in your poem. It was a well fitting comparison. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

I am very pleased that you like it. this poem is included in the book I am writing.

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

This is an absolute cracker. I love how you show the angst and pain some relationships go through and sometimes you just have to cut them loose. Good luck in the comp. I think it's a winner.

Love Always Lilbit xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my poem. I know how precious your time is, it is also precious to me. I get angry when people put their greedy pig-eyed ideas on you, please think of kittens and puppies, neopoet and butterfly's when you are alone and on your own.

*love, Siscat

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author comment

As an experiment, we are using a leading large language model (in other words, AI) to provide critiques of poems that were posted recently. Please let us know what you think.

Computer critique:

"Your Leather My Lace" is a rhymed verse poem that addresses the aftermath of a failed relationship and the process of moving on. The poem utilizes a relatively simple language and a consistent AABB rhyme scheme, which lends it a sense of rhythm and flow. The theme of the poem is relatable and engaging, as it deals with personal growth and the ability to regain one's independence after a heartbreak.

The title of the poem is intriguing and effectively captures the contrasting dynamic between the two individuals involved in the relationship. The juxtaposition of "leather" and "lace" symbolizes the differences in their personalities, values, and expectations.

The poem's language is straightforward and accessible, which allows the reader to empathize with the speaker's experiences and emotions. The use of metaphorical language, such as "I have fanned my fire / from warm to glowing hot," adds depth and emphasizes the speaker's journey of self-discovery and growth.

The rhythm and pacing of the poem are well-executed, with a consistent rhyme scheme and a natural flow. This structure complements the poem's theme, as it underscores the speaker's determination and resilience in the face of heartache.

The theme of the poem is universally appealing, as it delves into the complex emotions that accompany the end of a relationship and the process of moving forward. The speaker's journey from heartbreak to empowerment is both relatable and inspiring.

The poem's beginning effectively sets the stage for the speaker's emotional journey, as they declare their newfound freedom and resilience: "stripped of feelings / freedom from my heart." The ending of the poem is powerful and assertive, with the speaker drawing a firm boundary between themselves and their former partner: "you have shown your leather / but I won't share my lace." This final stanza serves as a strong conclusion, reinforcing the poem's central theme of personal growth and self-discovery.

In conclusion, "Your Leather My Lace" is a well-crafted poem that addresses the emotional complexities of a failed relationship and the journey towards independence and self-discovery. The poem's simple language, consistent rhyme scheme, and relatable theme make it an engaging and accessible piece. The title, as well as the beginning and ending of the poem, effectively convey the contrasting dynamic between the two individuals and the speaker's transformation.

this is well done and covers every point of the critique menu. it is very accurate and I find it helpful. but it lacks that personal touch. it is not quite as good as our Geezer. thank you.

*hugs to you, Andrew, (the) Cat

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author comment

I don't understand poetic mechanics, but I've read two versions of this and loved the touch ups that you have made
thus far. Great job Cat!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

I do not understand poetic mechanics either. I just know what I like and when it feels good to me. this poem is about a previous lover, who would not believe me when I declared that my love for him was true. the poem was written yesterday. I am writing a story based on the ups and downs of my life. (suggested by Seren, my friend who is very special and resides on Neopoet) as I was writing, I came to that section of my life that is "Gary's" section. when writing, one tends to feel the echoes and whispers of the past.

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

Cat,

There is an elegance that arrives with the words whisper and echo. Words when spoken this way
fill holes in my soul and give understanding to problems that I have had all of my life. Those are
wonderful words. Thank you for sharing!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

thank you fore sharing this bit of personal information. I am hoping that someday soon you will share those feelings and problems with your neopoet family. I think you will find real support and respect here. nothing is as cathartic as the written word; or so I find it.

*hugs, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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