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When The Frost Bites
Dead!
Lying limp and bare,
Frozen through as Winters cold
Froze her body, burnt her soul.
Dead!
My fault
No one else to blame.
I could have protected her
I neglected her.
Now winter's icy blast has frozen her.
She don't like frost,
Polka Dot.
So now she lies
Dead in her pot.
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Isle of Wight United Kingdom
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Poe, Swinburn, Bob Dylan, Many, many others.
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Comments
RoseBlack
Sat, 2023-02-04 10:39
Very powerful
I like the use of imagery to convey your emotions. The ending was a bit different than I had expected. Good job.
~RoseBlack~
Alex Tanner
Sat, 2023-02-04 10:45
Frost
Thank you Rose, not too bad for a five minute scribble. Alex
author commentObadiah Grey
Sat, 2023-02-04 10:55
Yeah, I have a rubber plant
Yeah, I have a rubber plant named Brian that spends the winter indoors.
I'm guessing "Polka Dot" was an Orchid or something similar?
(Well, I'm hoping its not a cherished cat! )
I like the twist, the brevity,,,, the emphasis on the two,,, "Dead!"s.
Obi.
Alex Tanner
Sat, 2023-02-04 11:02
polka dot
Thanks Obi. Its a pretty little bushy plant with variegated leaves. Alex.
author commentGeezer
Sat, 2023-02-04 11:15
Is there a chance...
for resuscitation? Maybe cloning? I have had luck with cloning a plant from not quite dead roots.
I have a [I call them Forever plants]. They don't need soil, just water and as long as you keep them warm and watered, they will thrive. I left mine touching the glass of a window where I keep it, and it lost most of its leaves. I love that plant and was heartbroken that I had cause such damage. I feel your heartbreak. Nicely done, ~ Geezer.
.
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Alex Tanner
Sat, 2023-02-04 11:38
no chance
absolutely had it, i was away for a few days so it had several nights at very low temperature, Alex
author commentLavender
Sat, 2023-02-04 19:20
When The Frost Bites
Hello, Alex,
I am so sorry. I have three green buddies who bring much joy. Well done conveying your thoughts in so few words.
L
Alex Tanner
Sun, 2023-02-05 05:40
Thank You
Thank you L. Alex
author commentAlex Tanner
Sun, 2023-02-19 04:50
Nuts
Hello l. In this instance it was not flowers or shrubs (though I have lost them in the past). I had gathered some walnuts, about a dozen, and set them in pots. To to my delight 3 germinated and were doing well, then I went away. We had some hard frosts and that was that. Alex
author commentJackweb
Sat, 2023-02-18 15:28
Well done!
I like your flow of words, and that makes a perfect rhythm.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Alex Tanner
Sun, 2023-02-19 04:52
Nuts
Thank you Jack. l. In this instance it was not flowers or shrubs (though I have lost them in the past). I had gathered some walnuts, about a dozen, and set them in pots. To to my delight 3 germinated and were doing well, then I went away. We had some hard frosts and that was that. Alex
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