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Lady of the Night

I walked home late the other night
From an evening spent with friends;
Good company, good food, fine wine,
The walk, a perfect end.

I walk along a country lane
To where my home does lie;
No lights, no moon, no clouds
To dim the beauty of the sky

A vixen wails like a distraught child,
By my shoulder the grey lady glides,
I pause, light up a small cigar,
Turn my face up to the skies.

The stars I know, like friends of old,
The constellations too,
And as I look I play a game, to rename one after you.

I must choose, there are so many,
And I must see it each clear night;
Each night and every season,
Summers dusk to winters night.

The choice it is so easy,
She is flying high above,
With smooth soft neck I long to stroke,
Cygnus, for you my love.

She is not visible all year round
In shining majesty,
But Deneb is, her blue white star
Will bring you close too me.

She shines so bright in crystal skies
As you my darling do.
Each time I see her smiling down
My thoughts shall turn to you.

My swan, my love, my lady fair,
Turn your face to the skies above.
See yourself reflected.
Know that you are loved.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Lady of the Night" is a narrative piece that effectively uses imagery and metaphor to convey a sense of longing and affection. The speaker's journey home under the night sky serves as an effective backdrop for their contemplation and emotional reflections.

However, there are areas where the poem could be improved:

1. Consistency of Meter: The poem seems to aim for a consistent meter, but there are lines where this is not achieved, which can disrupt the rhythm of the piece. For instance, the line "Each night and every season," disrupts the iambic tetrameter present in many other lines.

2. Use of Cliché: The poem tends to rely on clichés such as "my lady fair" and "know that you are loved." While these phrases can evoke familiar sentiments, they lack originality. The poem could benefit from more unique and personal expressions of love and admiration.

3. Clarity of Metaphor: The metaphor of the loved one as Cygnus (the swan constellation) is introduced quite late in the poem. This metaphor could be introduced earlier and developed more thoroughly to enhance the poem's thematic coherence.

4. Punctuation: The use of punctuation is inconsistent. For example, the ellipsis in "But…" seems unnecessary. Ensuring consistent and appropriate use of punctuation can enhance the readability of the poem.

5. Show, Don't Tell: The poem could benefit from more "showing" rather than "telling." For instance, instead of directly stating "know that you are loved," the poem could show this love through more detailed and evocative imagery.

In summary, while the poem effectively uses a narrative structure and celestial imagery to convey a sense of longing and love, it could be improved by focusing on consistency of meter, avoiding clichés, developing metaphors more thoroughly, ensuring consistent punctuation, and showing rather than telling emotions.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Hello, Alex,
This has the flavor of Robert Frost - serene and gentle, yet full of mystery and a kindred spirit with nature. In this case, the stars. The mentions of Cygnus and Deneb, and the references to their characters throughout are lovely and the final stanza blends it all together so well.
Thank you!

Thanks L, can't say I am familiar with Robert Frost, I'll look him up. Alex

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