Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Walk at Twilight.

Come walk with me my lady
Through lanes on autumns eve.
The sky, no light to taint it
A spell on us will weave.

Walk slow with me my lady,
No words we need to say,
The night will do the talking
As its magic does hold sway.

We’ll hear the night birds calling,
Sense bats that flutter round
Hear Reynard bark at distance
By his den beneath the ground.

Stand still, hold still and listen,
You hear that Nightbird call?,
A Raven silent, wings to roost;
You hear the cattle bawl?.

Above the blackness seems alive
By countless diamonds lit.
Your eyes are like that endless night
They flash, and I submit.

Walk on with me my Lady,
Of words we have no need.
Love has its way of showing
In silence and in deeds.

The night is Oh! So calm.
Soon the moon will rise
As we stand high above the vale
Cloaked by the starlit skies.

And now my lady in a glade,
With wild gorse all around.
Its yellow blossom all year blooms
It watches us laydown.

There in the glade in starlight glow
My Faerie Queen I’ll come to know.
To mystic lands she’ll bear me far
While high above a burning star
Like dragon’s breath will scorch the sky.
As on Hellfire's hills our souls do fly.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

This has left me speechless. Reminds me of a song by Shaman called Fairy Tale. This is utterly romantic and so elegantly written. I love the flow, the language and the entire premise of the poem. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

Thank you Rose. As it is Sunday and I am staying in today I will have to listen to that piece. Alex

author comment

Let me know what you think of it if you do give it a listen!

~RoseBlack~

Liked it enormously. Downloaded 2 copies, one a live performance and another with the lyrics. you might like to try (if you haven't) an animated version of The Highwayman, one of my favourite poems by Alfred Noyes sung by Loreena McKennett and also her version of The Lady of Shallott . I had to learn that at school many many years ago. Alex

author comment

Thank you Kat. Seems I am making a rod for my own back. Now I shall have to work twice as hard. Alex

author comment

Above the blackness seems alive
By countless diamonds lit.
Your eyes are like that endless night
They flash, and I submit.

Everything is ridiculous here but that stanza rocks man.

Tim

Thanks Tim. Alex

author comment

Hello, Alex,
A romantic and sensual poem - a wonderful build up to that final intense line. The references to the wild surroundings add to the magic. I'm not certain of the word "wreak" - it has a heaviness to it, and usually denotes negative connotations. It seems to weigh down that stanza a bit, and feels different from all your other graceful language.
Magically romantic~
L

Hello L. You are quite right and I racked my brains over just how to phrase it. How does,

Walk slow with me my lady
No words we need to say
The night will do its talking
As its magic does hold sway.

That was the original.
Alex

author comment

I very much like this original, especially using sway as a noun as in mastery or dominion - it gives a regal, mysterious feeling. Very poetic language that flows and blends in with the nature of your poem.
Again, magically romantic!
L

Edited back to original. Thanks L. Alex

author comment

This is astonishing. I've read this a few times and everytime I read it I get something new from it.

Sigh this is so beautiful.

Magnifico!!!

Kind regards Seren/Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

I'm so pleased with your reaction but now I wonder if I can keep up and build on the standards I am setting myself. Alex

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.