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Vampire Lair

Submitted by C. Wolff on Wed, 2022-10-26 15:08

One foggy night you heard the call,
In forest deep it would befall,
That you'd be lured into the deep,
Ambling forth while fast asleep,

And as you felt a gentle touch,
In dream-like state you thought as such,
That it would be a handsome prince,
With tender words he did convince,

Until you woke to find him there,
With blazing eyes and famished stare,
While razor fangs gave end to life,
Heed not the call that makes grim rife.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing stage:

Not actively editing

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2022-10-26 15:24

Yes, yes...

I see your strength here. You are a good storyteller, and I would love to see you do a lengthy one! Nice stuff, in a hard to keep going rhyme scheme of two-line rhyming.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

C. Wolff

Wed, 2022-10-26 15:27

Thank you so much!

author comment

Candlewitch

Wed, 2022-10-26 15:31

hello and well met...

well done, very well done indeed! I want more, lol, I'm greedy and you spin a yarn that is inviting to the max power!!!

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

C. Wolff

Wed, 2022-10-26 15:32

Thanks a bunch!! :)

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Wed, 2022-10-26 17:02

Excellent job

What a great quick read. It’s practically perfect sorry bout the Poppins pun.

Stupendous rhythm,
Tim

C. Wolff

Thu, 2022-10-27 08:18

lol! Thx!! :)

author comment

Lavender

Wed, 2022-10-26 18:00

Vampire Lair

I agree that you are a true story-teller! You bring a lot of eeriness to this fun rhyming poem. I enjoyed every line, and like a thirsty vampire - I vanted more!
Thank you!
L

C. Wolff

Thu, 2022-10-27 08:18