Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
The Vampire
Alone she stalks the darkened streets
No sun for her, no light,
No azure skies, no drifting clouds,
Black, everlasting night.
Hunger burns into her soul,
If soul she does possess,
For centuries she has hunted nights
Sought soft throats to caress.
As darkness falls, to slake a thirst
Up from the grave she'll rise;
White as the marble embracing,
Lust, hunger in black eyes.
She seeks a lover who will share
The emptyness of the grave,
Who'll hunt with her and give her hope
When death is all she craves.
For eons has she striven
To find someone to care,
But never in her dreamless sleep
Can she cast off black despair.
She stumbles through the rain swept streets
Weariness feeds her rage,
No more will she live this death
Alone in her marble cage.
At dawn she sits on clifftop high
Her lover she awaits;
She faces East where he shall rise
And lead her to her fate.
Above the sea he shows his face
Bright, cutting through the dawn,
His love surrounds, she bows her head,
Smiles, then she is gone.
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
Isle of Wight United Kingdom
Favorite Poets
Poe, Swinburn, Bob Dylan, Many, many others.
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
RoseBlack
Sun, 2023-10-29 16:11
Cryptic
Tale of a vampire's seemingly lonely life...until her love comes for her and she joins him. Great story!! Love how you describe her despair. Perfect for this spooky season.
~RoseBlack~
Alex Tanner
Mon, 2023-10-30 11:01
Vampire
Thank you Rose. Vampires, Ghoulies and Ghosties, my favourites. Alex.
author commentGeezer
Sun, 2023-10-29 18:52
This is...
an intriguing story, to say the least.
I really enjoy this time of the year, it seems to bring out the darkness
the seedier side of us, even romance is more to the raw emotion.
A few places that bother me are:
Seek soft flesh to caress.
I like the sybulant sounds, but they create a stumble, with "what does that mean?"
How about something like, "souls of softness to caress"
[When] death is all she craves
To find [someone] who cares
A beautiful story, Didn't realize her intent until the last.
Nicely done!
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Alex Tanner
Mon, 2023-10-30 11:36
Vampire
Thanks Geez. Your comments are always welcome. I shall edit shortly along the lines you suggest
When death is all she craves.
To find someone? a one? I think either will do.
The first line you mention I have never been really happy with. I didn't want to put soul in there, neither was I happy starting with Seek, as I already had Sought in the previous line. I considered For. but that seemed rather bland, and I was going to use throat rather than flesh. So, Let's see how it looks. Alex
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2023-10-30 12:24
I love...
what you have done with it!
Your line: "Sought soft throats to caress" is perfect!
The whole thing has come together very nicely, you made it happen. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Alex Tanner
Mon, 2023-10-30 14:04
Vampire
Thanks Geez, Alex
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2023-10-30 16:03
dear Alex,
I immersed myself in your vampire poem...very smoothly readable with a surprise ending! good luck to you on the contest!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Alex Tanner
Mon, 2023-10-30 18:52
Vampire
Thanks Cat, always pleased to receive your comments. Alex
author commentM4GG0TM3NT4L
Mon, 2023-10-30 22:06
amazing!
I read this in a pretty deep voice for whatever reason. very good rhythm. the last line in particular "then she is gone." is amazing. i look forward to seeing more of your work!!
-m4gg0t was here
you could call me soph if you'd like.
The phantom of the opera is there. Inside my mind.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-11-15 10:05
dear Alex,
I forgot to specifically tell you that these are my favorite lines of your poem:
At dawn she sits on clifftop high
Her lover she awaits;
She faces East where he shall rise
And lead her to her fate.
Above the sea he shows his face
Bright, cutting through the dawn,
His love surrounds, she bows her head,
Smiles, then she is gone.
you have a flair for Horror and Romance. When combined make for an explosive combination. I love it!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Alex Tanner
Wed, 2023-11-15 11:05
Thank you Cat
Thanks again Cat. I think it comes from a long life enjoying quality horror films and books. Though as my dear wife would say: 'God you watch some crap'. She's not far wrong either, I watch pretty well anything though I am much more selective in what I read. Alex
author comment