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Untitled # 1

We are the peoples' nation of Zrcheckslovanounious.
No one is able to pronounce us.
Our citizens therefore denounce us.
We're a proud population of three.

Our emperor he is a llama.
Who has his very own song-a.
He wrote it whilst hitting a bong-a.
He'll 'maaaaah' at you for free.

So welcome to the Republic.
Don't drink our water - you'll get sick.
Our Emperor Mo Mao Mick
says: 'mahh mahh mahh merr meer meee'

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Motivation and focus: My profile random question over on blogspot asked to "write a new national anthem using an animal sound at least once." - I figured it was a ridiculous and silly request, so I found it fitting to write a ridiculous poem, and therefore tried to stretch the boundaries of lunacy! Format is a modified Tanaga Quadrameter. Hopefully, the right selection was made as to 'eastern' or 'western' It is untitled for now, because I haven't been able to think up something epic yet. I'm going for full-blown ridiculous.
Editing stage: 

Comments

I'll trade leaders with you lmao.........stan

The last stanza could use some tweaking with the meter (especially since the first two are excellent), but otherwise I just plain loved this poem.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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LOL what an imagination you have. I wouldn't know how to begin or where to critique this one lol

So I'll sit back laugh and leave it alone

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

Wow you suceeded in your attempt!!
epic, can ridiculous be that. I have heard epic stupid. wait I have been that once or twice in my life.

nice to see you back, are you done with school.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

" asked to "write a new national anthem using an animal sound at least once." - I figured it was a ridiculous and silly request, so I found it fitting to write a ridiculous poem, and therefore tried to stretch the boundaries of lunacy!"

I think you have succeded marvelously in your endeavor! And I want you to know that I laughed my @ss off!

No suggestions, just appreciation!
always, Cat

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