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Untitled #3

Never let someone hold you down
Fuck you up
Tell you you're nothing
And that you're not good enough.

Never be under someone's thumb
Or fall face downwards
Because you were drawn in
By their lies and deceit.

Be strong
Look within yourself and know
That there are those who care about you
And nothing can touch you, unless you let it.
And no harm will come of you tonight
Not under my watch....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
This was written for a friend who was going through a tough time, and thinking ill of themselves. I haven't titled it, because I haven't been able to think up one that is appropriate.
Editing stage: 

Comments

The constand shield.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I would like to see it tweaked to make it more universal, I felt it was written for a specific other, before I read your afterwords.

A suggestion for both the last line and the title

Not on my watch.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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