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Shaken Faith

My faith is shaken in our political system
when I see day- to- day shootings in America

A system designed to protect the people
Has been deeply compromised by the Dollar

Our leaders would rather protect their jobs
Than protect the safety of our citizens

Dividing the American Pie in pieces of leniency
Puts holes into our political kettle

False claims fostered by Those in power
Wrecks our basic planks of Democracy

Criminal acts by our top leaders go unpunished
Causing me to wonder if dictatorship has arrived

Faith in my government has been shaken by our leader’s actions
But can be restored if we the people are willing to demand real change

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Comments

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, titled "Shaken Faith", is a powerful reflection on the state of politics in America. The poet expresses their disillusionment with the political system, which they believe has been compromised by money and power. The use of imagery, such as "dividing the American Pie in pieces of leniency" and "putting holes into our political kettle", effectively conveys the idea of a system that is broken and in need of repair.

One of the strongest aspects of this poem is its honesty. The poet does not shy away from expressing their frustration with the political situation, and they do so in a way that is both passionate and thoughtful. The poem also highlights the importance of individual action, suggesting that real change can only come about if "we the people" demand it.

However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved. One suggestion would be to consider rephrasing the line "False claims fostered by a losing party". The use of the word "losing" may be seen as divisive, and could distract from the overall message of the poem. A possible alternative could be "False claims fostered by those in power", which would be more neutral and inclusive.

Overall, "Shaken Faith" is a well-written and impactful poem that captures the frustration and disillusionment many Americans feel towards their political system. With a few small tweaks, it could be even stronger.

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Thank you you are right, edit made

author comment

Your poem expresses perfectly the lack of faith and trust we have in all our political leaders and the democracy they claim to be delivering. It is striking that across the world many citizens regardless of which country they are part of, feel the same.

Your use of imagery, a political kettle, and basic planks, add to the senasation of doubt we have in the political world we live in. The poem was the correct length and you didn't have to labour your points or choice of words, your frustration came across strongly.

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

All political actors are all the same all over the world. Your poem is very engaging. It speaks day to day political spectrum of any democratic government. Beautifully crafted piece. I liked the simplicity and good use of imagery!
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"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Thank you for your comments

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