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Observing The Canvas Of Nature

Pitta patter rain and reflection slapping shoes
Snake lights wrapped around ancient chipped poles.
Unlit reaching branches and church shaped missile ready

to launch in silhouette shadows. Claw tapping on weathered
pavements hushing winds guiding me along

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
What I observed
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem, "Observing The Canvas Of Nature." I appreciate your unique perspective on nature and the vivid imagery you've created. Here is my feedback:

1. Consider refining your use of language: While your poem contains some interesting descriptions, there are instances where the language could be more precise and evocative. For example, in the line "Pitta patter rain and reflection slapping shoes," the phrase "pitta patter" feels a bit vague. Consider using more specific language to convey the sound of raindrops hitting the ground.

2. Develop the central theme: It seems that your poem is exploring the relationship between nature and human-made objects, such as ancient chipped poles and a church-shaped missile. However, this theme could be further developed to provide a clearer and more cohesive message. Consider expanding on the significance of these objects and how they relate to the overall observation of nature.

3. Structure and flow: Pay attention to the flow of your poem. Some lines

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

Haven't gone over this just jotted down quickly from my phone I took notes of when I was out

author comment

difficult to explain how I get the emotion here.
I just know that some of your descriptions are spot on.
The line: "Pitta patter rain and reflection slapping shoes", makes me think of a light rain
and shoes polished to such a sheen, that they reflect shadows of objects close to the ground.

One would think of the line: "Unlit branches and church shaped missile ready", that it gives the impression
of black, rain drenched branches of trees, silhouetted against the backdrop of a church steeple
poised like a missle to the heavens. I have tried to make the form look more balanced,
but cannot think of how to do it. ~ Geezer.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Haven't Properly looked to organise this only roughly I put this down. I just needed it down here so I play around with it

author comment
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