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WHITE WHIPS

Submitted by Jokerface82 on Fri, 2024-04-26 18:06

A flash of lightning illuminating a
golden staircase and forks with violent
Snaps splitting the dome of vastness
Knifing through the cold blackness

Jumping from the black mamba clouds
Then targeting with wild cracks and
Whips splitting the sky in half
With white sparks

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Editing stage: 
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Contest: 
Neopoet Weekly Contest 04/21/24 to 04/27/24
Content level: 
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Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2024-04-27 00:10

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tyro

Sat, 2024-04-27 07:15

so visual, so precise. and it had a cadence I could easily follow.
I particularly like, " splitting the dome of vastness"
I feel I am there seeing this happen.

great poem; it is highly evocative, and it has been said that pure poetry has no unnecessary words.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Jokerface82

Sat, 2024-04-27 10:51

Jokerface82's picture

Thank you I appreciate the positive feedback man !

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