Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
NOR'WESTER
Comes a winter shingle shaker
blow off the leaves, blow off the hats!
Bring a gust, an old limb breaker,
turn your breath to an ice maker,
send to rest the flitting bats.
Roar throughout the night and day,
build the whitecaps on the lakes
invite the winter here to stay
and usher autumn on its way.
Lift the tents up from their stakes.
Bring snow clouds in skies of blue,
put sleepy gophers in the ground,
freeze to frost the morning dew
bring the jack frost into view.
Send the last geese southward bound.
Then when all your strength is spent
and you've frozen everything,
delivered cold which won't relent,
leaving icy sedge fields bent
we'll all await warm winds of spring.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Am aware the meter is inconsistent. Was done semi-on purpose to convey how gusty winds often seem to blow from all directions at once.......stan
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Candlewitch
Sun, 2012-01-15 11:03
Dear Stan,
I like your title, it fits the poem nicely. I don't know much about meter but I do know I like the poem and could identify with it. It made me long for Spring. I had to look up {sedge} I found out it is a plant resembling grass. I liked your rhymes. And these lines really sum it up:
Then when all your strength is spent
and you've frozen everything
delivered cold which won't relent
leaving icy sedge fields bent
we'll all await the winds of spring
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
scribbler
Sun, 2012-01-15 11:14
hi Cat
Ol' see and say me wrote this after a gale blew in 1st really cold air of the winter to South Carolina the other day. I'm glad you liked this........stan
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2012-01-15 17:06
hi Lonnie
Good to know this is well thought of on second read lol........stan
author commentNordic cloud
Mon, 2012-01-16 13:50
poetic weather forecast
You use the thoughts in this poem to toss us in the wind and shake our cockles, turn our finger blue, then green, an apt description of the Northern wind. Quite like watching the poetic weather forecast Stan.
Enjoyed it Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
scribbler
Mon, 2012-01-16 17:17
hello
Thank you for stopping by..........stan
author commentGeremia
Mon, 2012-01-16 17:59
Stan, you ARE the poet-man
Stan, you ARE the poet-man.This was a hapy read. I ditto the other comments.
scribbler
Mon, 2012-01-16 18:15
hi Joe
I just see and say and try to do so in a pleasing way lol.Thanks for such kind words............stan
author commentweirdelf
Sat, 2013-09-28 17:46
Beautifully written
by the Great Spaghetti Monster you are learning your craft!
However, and it is probably my failing. I can't find a subtext. Just another pastoral poem, much better written, to me.
Please be generous to tell me what I am missing.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Sat, 2013-09-28 22:17
No problem
If you'll look you'll see this is an older poem of mine. I dug it back out to see if any of it might be of use in the bottom line shop in helping me get a handle on dactyl.....alas no help but while scanning I spotted a typo and fixing it brought this back on stream. But I guess it's a good thing as it apparently helped you get a bit out of your fuge at least a bit lol. Good to see you.
As to subtext. The strong wind is a metaphor for times of havoc and the last few lines an affirmation that even the bad times pass and leave hope of better times. i should have dropped a heavier hint of this somewhere I guess..........stan
author commentweirdelf
Sun, 2013-09-29 02:11
Ta,
heavier hints may only be needed by those less perceptive than me. Please don't dumb it down on my account!
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
scribbler
Sun, 2013-09-29 11:14
Hey
I have no plans to make any major changes to this simply Because it also seems to work well as a "Mere" patoral poem as is. Let those who seek other meanings have the pleasure of the hunt lol..........stan
author commentIRiz
Fri, 2018-11-30 16:26
Gorgeous write,
Gorgeous write,
i am salivating to post it on Instagram
may i use the first part only with the full text in the comment?
Alliteration of the first stanza is haunting, cadence and rhymes are just flying flawless
Images are fresh and words are simply poetic!
IRiz
scribbler
Fri, 2018-11-30 19:55
Lol
You are welcome to use any part or the whole or anything in between. BTW what is instagram?
author commentIRiz
Sat, 2018-12-01 10:06
It is a social platform
It is a social platform connecting millions
Neopoet has a page and we can advertise there our work. You can find it here www.instagram.com/Neopoet/
For links on potential submitions look in my last blog, please.
IRiz
scribbler
Sat, 2018-12-01 10:31
As
I get older I find myself suffering future shock more and more often.....I feel like a chimp watching a missile launch
author commentIRiz
Sat, 2018-12-01 11:26
It is a familiar feeling.
It is a familiar feeling.
Take a deep breath and enjoy the view.
Lol.
Let me know please if you having troubles finding your post.
Click on LIKE icons under the posts if you like them.
IRiz