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Murder In Sixth Street Alley pt. #5
Murder In Sixth Street Alley pt #5
the empty, except for a few dumpsters, trees and shrubs, moon-bright street,
afforded a few nasty hiding places. the killer, investigating the inside
one of the dumpsters, was sifting through the trash. making a terrible din.
slipping into the darkness of a large, leafy bush to catch my breath, it suddenly hit me!
I didn't have to escape this killer, I only had to out-smart him. on this I quickly decided...
smiling to myself, I considered my assets. my air-cushioned tennis shoes, silent except on gravel.
so, I would have to be in sync with noises he was making.the angrier he became, the more noise
he made. the dark clothing, which I always wore would blend into shadows of the ebony night.
my black trench coat and fedora would help me blend into the shadows. thick dark clouds moved
in front of the moon, I reached into the back of my shoe, finding my trusty blade, newly sharpened.
while he moved to another dumpster, I made good use of this opportunity, circling around behind him.
now the hunter had become the hunted...
Comments
RoseBlack
Tue, 2022-07-26 08:39
The tables have turned
I love it!!! I love the blade in the shoe and the trench coat and fedora. Breathed life into our subject.
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Candlewitch
Tue, 2022-07-26 08:59
dear RoseBlack,
thank you for your support on this project. I liked the poem when I wrote it. but afterwards, I thought is this a c'leche ending? thanks for setting my mind at ease, you are a treasure!
*hugs, Cat
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Geezer
Tue, 2022-07-26 09:33
While I...
would have preferred a much bloodier and conclusive ending; it does provide a still suspenseful end! Are you going to be successful? Will the plan work? It seems that our experiment is going well, I am pleased at the work accomplished so far and hope that we get more critique and comments from the rest of the site! I understand that prose not being your thing; that you are not used to capitalization and forgive you that. Also, in the heat of the moment and the speed of which things are happening, I wouldn't use the word ponder, [which to me, means careful consideration and thought]. Otherwise a successful
conclusion to our story. ~ Geez.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?
Candlewitch
Tue, 2022-07-26 14:39
dear Geezer,
I'm not happy with the word (ponder) either. it indicates I had awhile to think it over. which I didn't. I need something that indicates (quick.) got any ideas for me? thanks in advance.
*hugs, Cat
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And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
mark
Tue, 2022-07-26 14:44
Umm ok if I may
it was a quick decision
quick or fast etc
Mark
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-27 14:29
thanks Mark,
I worked your suggestion in.
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
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mark
Tue, 2022-07-26 11:26
I felt it not an ending
but rather a good start for part or a part #6.
Your use of enjambment seems to be your earmark.
Good job Cat,
Mark
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Candlewitch
Tue, 2022-07-26 14:32
dear Mark,
your words of support are appreciated :) thank you!
*hugs, Cat
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-07-26 19:52
I was thinking similar
Thought about lifting a knife off the dead body. Or my better idea was…the victim wasn’t dead and saved me at the last surprise moment. Bludgeoned our killer with a patio block.
This works for me!
Tim
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-07-27 14:32
hello Tim,
that is cool, too...
*hugs, Cat
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.