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It's You
You say that they all
use me, you say they're
not really my friends.
But who are you to
tell me how my road
will end?
I now see it so
clearly that the user
here is you, so who
are you to tell
me what the hell
I'm gonna do.
If you can't see what
you do to me than
you have completely
lost your mind
and I bet you
sit and wonder why
the hell I sit and
cry.
one day I hope you
look at yourself
I mean way down
deep inside and I
hope you figure out
what I'm talking about of
your demons that
truly crave your mind.
So my love I'm not
the devil here
but he is beside me
still. The devil I see is
you in front of me
will you finally have
the will.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2023-02-02 12:24
This is...
a clear statement of your truth. Fast and easy.
"you say that they all use me, you say [they're] not really my friends."
The little breaks of rhyme make this piece. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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