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If this tender morning...
...were a beatific elaborate costume,
I would raise my arms, don it like a gown.
Its design by Mother Nature's purity
sundry autumn leaves plucked from the ground.
With the arrival of Autumn's graceful face,
there's a kind of peace I find divine.
To touch within, a sweet well-spring of grace
blessed once again, by nature sublime.
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What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-08-27 15:51
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem titled "If this tender morning..." demonstrates a strong connection with nature and the changing seasons. The use of metaphors and personification, such as "Autumn's graceful face", effectively conveys the poet's emotions and impressions of autumn. However, the poem could benefit from more consistency in its rhyme scheme and rhythm to enhance its musicality.
The first stanza follows an ABAB rhyme scheme, which is not maintained in the second stanza. Maintaining a consistent rhyme scheme throughout the poem can create a more harmonious reading experience.
Moreover, the rhythm of the poem seems to fluctuate. For example, the first line of the second stanza has eight syllables, while the second line has nine. This inconsistency can disrupt the flow of the poem. By ensuring a more consistent rhythm, the poet can create a smoother, more rhythmic reading experience.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While phrases such as "Mother Nature's purity" and "nature sublime" convey the poet's appreciation for nature, they are somewhat abstract. By using more concrete imagery, the poet can create a more vivid and engaging depiction of the autumn morning.
Lastly, the poem's punctuation could be reviewed for consistency. The first stanza ends with a period, while the second stanza does not. Consistent punctuation can help to clarify the poem's structure and meaning.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
Tue, 2024-08-27 18:06
Wow!
Beautiful!
Just what I would do if Autumn was a costume.
I thought may be you'd like to rewrite the title as a first line to be part of the poem's body.
Great writing dearest Cat.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-08-28 08:29
Dear Rula,
I think you would like to know: You lovely comments always cause me to feel good about myself! thank you.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLeslie
Wed, 2024-08-28 03:17
Cat
I thought this was beautiful! Your skills keep improving logarithmically, but I agree with Rula and her comment.
All of God's children singing, holding hands in the rain!
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-08-28 08:34
Dear Leslie,
I will work on it, thank you for your help.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLavender
Wed, 2024-08-28 12:57
If This Tender Morning...
So lovely and endearing. Soft and gentle. I have no issue with the title used separately from the body of the poem, especially since you have a four line stanza form, but I can understand the advantage to inserting it as the first line of the poem. This is so graceful, I can visualize the morning slipping down your raised arms and over your shoulders - elegance! I wonder about "a kind of peace" - this feels so supreme, it seems it is the all and absolute "peace."
"There is peace I find divine."
(But that is the way it feels to me.) :)
Beautiful poetry, Cat!
Thank you!
L
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-08-28 17:11
Dearest Lavender,
Can you please show me how you would present the poem? I have become confused. I thank you for reading and leaving a nice comment.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLavender
Wed, 2024-08-28 17:37
Hi, Cat!
Aw... I didn't mean to confuse you! I think your poem is fine as is, truly. I just meant if you added the title into the body of the poem as it is, (unless you reworked it in some way) you'd have the first stanza with five lines and the next with four, which might be just fine with you. Either way, it's beautiful poetry. Is that a bit less confusing?
Lx
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-08-28 17:46
Dear Lavender,
thank you for explaining it to me!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLavender
Wed, 2024-08-28 17:52
Hi, Cat,
Certainly!