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Halloween I Remember

Submitted by Clentin on Sat, 2023-10-21 15:05

On Halloween night, the moon shines bright,
Casting eerie shadows in the pale moonlight.
Ghosts and ghouls roam the streets with delight,
Their haunting presence giving us a fright.

Pumpkins carved with wicked grins,
Candles flicker as darkness begins.
Witches on broomsticks fly through the air,
Crackling and casting spells without a care.

Children dressed as monsters, trick or treating,
Their laughter and excitement, truly fleeting.
Haunted houses filled with screams and scares,
Echoing through the night,adding to the dares.

Skeletons dancing, their bones a- clatter,
As spirits gather,their voices chatter.
Halloween, a night of magic and mystery,
Where imagination runs wild,setting us free.

Children roam the streets, ,seeking sweet delight,
Knocking on doors, their laughter piercing the night.
Candy corn and caramel apples,treats abound,
As the spirit of Halloween spreads all around.

These are the things, that I can see,
The days of Halloween that used to be.
Now when I open the door, with glee,
I see my grandchildren with masks like me.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

Halloween Image Prompt Contest

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2023-10-21 21:10

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Halloween I Remember" effectively utilizes vivid imagery and traditional Halloween elements to create a nostalgic atmosphere. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved.

Firstly, the rhythm of the poem is inconsistent. While the majority of the poem follows a simple AABB rhyme scheme, there are lines that do not fit this pattern. For instance, the line "Their laughter and excitement, truly fleeting" disrupts the rhythm due to its length. Consider revising such lines to maintain a consistent rhythm throughout the poem.

Secondly, the poem could benefit from more varied language. There is a tendency to repeat certain words, such as "laughter" and "night". Exploring synonyms or alternative ways to express these ideas could enrich the poem's language and keep the reader engaged.

Lastly, the final stanza introduces a new perspective - the speaker observing their grandchildren. This shift is a bit abrupt and might benefit from a smoother transition. Perhaps hinting at this perspective shift earlier in the poem could help to prepare the reader and enhance the emotional impact of the final lines.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the spirit of Halloween and the nostalgia of past celebrations. With some adjustments to rhythm, language, and structure, it could be further improved.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

RoseBlack

Sun, 2023-10-22 06:09

What a fun poem

Reminds me of the Halloween I used to have as a child. The streets were filled with kids and adults...everyone laughing and having a good time..the occasional scare passing by someone's well decorated home or if the owners decided to pop out for fun. Well done!

~RoseBlack~

Clentin

Sun, 2023-10-22 08:51

Thank you for reading and

Thank you for reading and comments. Remember that trick or treating lasted at least a week. Today one day.

author comment

Candlewitch

Sun, 2023-10-22 10:43

dear Clentin,

great poem of fun and frolic! reminding me of my joys on this, my favorite holiday. thanks for this. my favorite lines are:

These are the things, that I can see,
The days of Halloween that used to be.
Now when I open the door, with glee,
I see my grandchildren with masks like me.

* L & H, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Clentin

Sun, 2023-10-22 12:15

Thank you for reading and

Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate your comments, accept and criticism and wanted
Changes.
Again, thanks!

author comment

Neopoet

Halloween I Remember