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Full of the saloon

Who swoons at the full moon
Nothing but a blue fool

Filled Up on dreams and booze
A howling Calhoun buffoon

Without a fortune or much else to do
Soon he will be put in front of a courtroom

Not sure which looney version he will be
arguing
It’s evident by his ballooning belly all
the alcohol he’s consumed

As I was spared let me not assume he sung the same tune
But I am sure the judge presumes his
brain is strewn

Did he ever tell you the story of him dancing with a raccoon?

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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem makes use of a consistent rhyme scheme (AABB) which aids in maintaining a rhythmic flow. However, the meter is inconsistent, which can disrupt the reader's rhythm. To improve this, consider revising the lines to have a more consistent number of syllables.

The poem uses a variety of images and metaphors, but it might benefit from further development and clarification. For example, the line "Did he ever tell you the story of him dancing with a raccoon?" is intriguing, but it's unclear how it relates to the rest of the poem. If this is a key part of the character's story, consider expanding on it to create a stronger connection with the rest of the poem.

The poem's language is generally clear, but there are a few lines where the wording could be simplified for greater clarity. For instance, the line "Continuing on this line of reasoning let me not assume he sung the same tune" could be rephrased for easier comprehension.

The poem effectively conveys a sense of the character's recklessness and the consequences of his actions. However, the character's motivations and emotions could be explored in more depth to create a more nuanced portrayal. For example, what drives him to drink and act foolishly? What are his feelings about his impending trial?

Lastly, the poem's title, "Full of the saloon", could be more closely tied to the content of the poem. While the poem does deal with themes of drinking and recklessness, the title might suggest a broader exploration of the saloon setting or the character's relationship with it. Consider revising the title to more accurately reflect the poem's focus.

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Wow that was freaking awesome. I'm going to read more. Very, very cool!

Today never knows what tommorow will bring!

nicely written poem.

Can you tell me why you never answer your comments?

*Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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