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Freedom

Submitted by Clentin on Tue, 2023-04-25 06:36

Thinking about the word freedom causes
Me to examine actions of the past and the present
To take the time for pauses

Defined as restrictive actions to be enforced
Makes me think that there are different types
Those we place on ourselves and those coerced

I find it not as much as imposed action
But rather freedom or lack of
Exists because of our reaction

It is the restrictions that we submit
That creates what we call freedom
It is the actions that we permit

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Tue, 2023-04-25 06:36

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Overall, the poem "Freedom" provides a thought-provoking exploration of the concept of freedom. The use of enjambment and the repetition of "actions" effectively convey the idea that freedom is not just a state of being, but something that must be actively pursued and maintained.

The poem's structure, with its four-line stanzas, provides a sense of order and balance to the ideas presented. However, the poem would benefit from some additional imagery or sensory detail to help bring the abstract concept of freedom to life.

One suggested line edit would be to change "Let's me think" in the second stanza to "Makes me think", as it would provide better grammatical clarity.

Overall, "Freedom" is a solid poem that could benefit from some additional poetic elements to enhance its impact.

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Clentin

Tue, 2023-04-25 07:02

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Thank you for your suggestions and review

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2023-04-25 11:13

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with all of what the AI says, except about the [four-line] stanzas! LoL
~ Geezer.
.

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