Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Everyday Sounds

Singing and laughing every day
Sparks life in the form of play

It supplies our family with caring
And asks us to continue sharing

Sounds that bring us all together
Helps us to provide our love forever

Such a simple set of actions
Dissolves so many fractions

Our day ends with loving smiles
Allowing us to enhance our styles

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Everyday Sounds" effectively uses rhyme and rhythm to convey its themes of unity, love, and the importance of everyday interactions. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from further development and refinement.

1. Imagery: The poem could be enhanced by incorporating more vivid and specific imagery. For instance, instead of saying "singing and laughing every day," the poet could describe the specific sounds or situations that provoke laughter or singing. This would make the poem more engaging and relatable to the reader.

2. Metaphor: The use of metaphor could be expanded to add depth to the poem. The line "Dissolves so many fractions" is a good start, but it could be more effective if the fractions were tied to a specific image or concept.

3. Consistency: The poem's rhythm is generally consistent, but there are a few lines that disrupt the flow. For example, the line "It supplies our family with caring" has one syllable more than the corresponding line in the previous stanza. Maintaining a consistent rhythm throughout the poem would enhance its musicality and readability.

4. Clarity: Some lines could benefit from greater clarity. For instance, the line "Allowing us to enhance our styles" is somewhat vague. If the poet could specify what "styles" refers to, it would strengthen the poem's message and impact.

5. Theme Development: The theme of unity and love is clear, but it could be developed further. The poet could delve deeper into how these everyday sounds contribute to the family's unity and love, perhaps by exploring specific instances or anecdotes.

Overall, the poem has a strong foundation and a clear message. With further refinement and development, it could become even more powerful and engaging.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.