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Streams of tears
and audible sobs

I can't catch my breath.

Everything is cold

Grief tears at my heart
Shreds through my voice
Squeezes my lungs
Crushing me under its weight

Shoulder shaking cries pour from my soul
and drip onto the pages of what could have been

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem with us. I understand that you have written an elegy, a poem that expresses deep sorrow and grief. The emotions you convey are intense and raw, which is fitting for the theme.

One suggestion I have is to consider adding more specific imagery or details to help the reader connect with your experience of grief. For example, instead of using general terms like "everything is cold, dark, lonely," you could describe specific sensations or scenes that evoke those feelings. This would make your poem more vivid and immersive for the reader.

Additionally, you might want to explore different poetic techniques to enhance the impact of your elegy. For instance, you could experiment with the use of metaphors or similes to create striking comparisons that deepen the emotional resonance of your words.

Overall, your poem effectively captures the intense emotions of grief. By incorporating more specific imagery and experimenting with poetic techniques, you can further enhance the impact and depth of your elegy. Keep up the good work

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

This is a powerful free verse packed with intense emotion. I think you captured the essence of grief visually as well as verbally. A loss is a loss and we can certainly grieve for those who are alive as well as those who passed. The format you used was different but fit the words well. Good job.


Very much, RoseBlack! I appreciate the feedback, as always!

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