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She walked beside the sea like so many times before,
She looked out upon the water as she stood there on the shore…
The tears ran down her face in a flood of raw emotion.
Gingerly she took a single step into the ocean…

She tried her best to block out all those painful memories,
But just a moment later she was right up to her knees…
It wasn’t an impulsive act nor was it done in haste,
In less than thirty seconds she was right up to her waist…

The water was so bitter cold, the snow began to fall,
“It is perfect day” she thought to finally end it all…
Her kids were grown and on their own, they didn’t need her now,
Those numbing final thoughts were all that she’d allow…

In less than half an hour the deed was said and done,
She didn’t leave a note for her daughters or her son…
The police were on the scene, they were working on the case,
The headlines read, “A local woman gone without a trace…”

He sat down at the table with a bottle full of shame,
Nobody had accused him but he knew he was to blame…
Sitting in the darkness, all alone and deep in thought
He reached out for the bottle and he poured another shot…

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem is a narrative piece that explores a tragic event and its aftermath. The use of the third-person perspective allows the reader to observe the actions and emotions of the characters, which can create a sense of detachment and heighten the impact of the events described.

The poem adheres to a consistent rhyme scheme (AABB), which provides a sense of rhythm and structure. However, the meter varies throughout, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. For instance, the line "She looked out upon the water as she stood there on the shore…" is noticeably longer than the preceding line. Striving for a more consistent meter could improve the overall rhythm and readability of the poem.

The use of ellipsis at the end of each stanza creates a sense of continuation and anticipation, driving the reader to the next stanza. However, overuse of this punctuation can dilute its impact. It might be worth considering the use of other punctuation marks or line breaks to vary the pace and tone.

The poem's language is straightforward and accessible, which can make the narrative easy to follow. However, the use of more figurative language, such as metaphors or similes, could add depth and richness to the imagery.

The poem deals with serious and sensitive topics, such as suicide and guilt. These are handled with a degree of subtlety, which can allow readers to interpret and engage with the poem in their own way. However, the exploration of these themes could be deepened to provide a more nuanced portrayal of the characters' experiences and emotions.

The final stanza introduces a new character and perspective, which adds a layer of complexity to the narrative. However, this shift is quite abrupt and might benefit from more development or foreshadowing earlier in the poem.

Overall, this poem has a compelling narrative and explores its themes with sensitivity. With some refinement in terms of rhythm, language, and character development, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

A strong poem. I agree with AI that the meter can be tightened, but only in a few minor places. Overall, the flow was wonderful. The use of the ellipsis may be a bit of a distraction, but that may just be me. Your poetry examines so many delicate and personal (yet universal) topics, and you write so well. As a reader, I felt so immersed and involved. Heartbreaking theme filled with compassion.
Thank you,

Thank you

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