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A Date With Freddy Krueger

Submitted by Clentin on Sun, 2023-10-08 12:35

I'm going on a date with Freddy Krueger
Dreams have never been so scary
I'm not sure what to expect
But I know it won't be merry

A visit to Freddy's boiler room
A night so full of dread
I'm sure there's no escaping
Whatever he has in his head

He'll take me on a twisted journey
Through a world of morbid dreams
The things I'll see, I can't imagine
It's much more than it seems

My heart is beating fast
My body trembling and weak
But I know I must go through this
If I ever want to get through the week

I look for ways to get protection
I see his fingers that are knives
And move to shield myself
Wondering how many have lost their lives

So here I am on a date with Freddy Krueger
I'm ready for whatever comes my way
I'm sure it won't be an easy night
But I'll do whatever it takes to get away

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
October 2023 Challenge Date night with Freddy Krueger
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Ruby Lord

Mon, 2023-10-09 05:33

Ruby Lord's picture

I liked your ending, it caught me by surprise. It's a good poem, and a good read. The only point I picked up on was a word repeated in two lines:

He'll take me on a twisted journey
Through a world of twisted dreams

Perhaps the repetition of the word twisted so close in the sentences can be improved by a different word? Wretched, morbid, traumatic, dreams? Ruby :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Clentin

Mon, 2023-10-09 07:29

Clentin's picture

You are right. I edited using morbid in the second line. I like your suggestion.

Thank you very much

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