Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

DANCING WITH THE STARS

The most beautiful in all of creation
They await their time to shine
And when that time is up
They give up the reigns in peace
I have always loved the stars

And I have written a song
A song for a heart that like mine wails
A heart that feels like the whole world is against it
That even the gods themselves have conspired against it
For the eyes that look up at the sky
When people are warm in their beds

For the stars themselves know our pain
They stare back soothingly and wave with love
They dance to the songs of the breeze
Hoping that once our hearts calm down and our spirits quieten
That we can also hear these songs
And we can dance with the stars

The song that I wrote is therefore a song of pain
And of the empty longing inside a man's heart
But it is also a song of peace
For as I stand here in this dark night, I know
I am not alone

I will look at these stars and watch them dance
I cannot hear their song, but I know its rhythm
It's the rhythm of my wailing heart
The stars weep with me
A.Swantalala

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

I am working on becoming a little better, but on the upside it has inspired some good poetry, so it isn't all bad. Thanks for the heartwarming response.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.