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Cool Breeze

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Wed, 2024-09-11 20:46

Sometimes, it seemed she burned
bridges for warmth. Sometimes
while I was still crossing them.

I learned to look forward
to the cool breezes of being gone.

I wasn't bitter though. She needed to be free
to understand the properties of fire.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Thu, 2024-09-12 08:47

Yes...

There are those that cannot wait for the traffic to clear, before burning the bridge that they have already crossed.
The title is good and represents the theme, which I can appreciate. The message was sent immediately and was made clear while getting to the end. My one criticism is that you could have used another word instead of [sometimes], in the second line.
Perhaps, [often]? Brevity with clarity, nice job. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2024-09-17 15:41

Thanks Geez! I like your

Thanks Geez! I like your suggestion about using "often". Always appreciate your comments!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Lavender

Thu, 2024-09-12 11:04

Cool Breeze

Hello, Michael,
A unique and healthy way to look back on what could have been a harsh memory. Your last stanza is so powerful - I felt no bitterness at all, but a peaceful closure.
Thank you!
L

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2024-09-17 15:43

Thank youL! Well, there was

Thank youL! Well, there was probably a touch of bitterness, but it passed as I processed wjhat it all meant. Glad you liked this one!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Leslie

Fri, 2024-09-13 08:33

cool breezes

I understand the concept of burning bridges, I'm on the fiery side.Im amazed that you remaied unscathed. I wish my kids could say the same,but it will take some time. I thought that this we beautiful.

All of God's children singing, holding hands in the rain!

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2024-09-17 15:46

Thank you Leslie! As I

Thank you Leslie! As I mentioned to Lavender, it took a bit of time to become unscathed by it all. I did get there though, and it's been a better place, to be sure. Appreciate your comments.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Neopoet

Cool Breeze