Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A Child of God

When I hear a child laughing, I cannot help but smile,
All my troubles go away at least for just a while...
When I see a child suffering and there’s nothing I can do,
It hits me deep inside and I will suffer too...

When I see a child praying so honest and sincere,
It’s like I feel the Lord is standing very near...
When I watch a child at playing with a great imagination,
I go back to my youth and it’s an uplifting sensation...

When I watch a child on Christmas Day, his eyes all full of wonder,
All the troubles of the world are for a moment gone asunder...
When a child is full of joy with her sister or her brother,
It is a great reflection of her father and her mother...

When a child is setting off on their first day of school,
I wish them all the best because the world can be so cruel...
When a child graduates and they think they know it all,
May they appreciate the ones who helped them up when they would fall...

When a child has settled down and has a child of their own,
May they be grateful for the greatest gift that they have ever known...
We may live to be a hundred before we pass away,
But we’re still child of God upon that final day...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "A Child of God" explores the theme of the profound impact that children have on our lives and the connection between children and spirituality. The structure of the poem is consistent, with each stanza presenting a different scenario or observation about children. The use of rhyme and rhythm adds a pleasing musicality to the poem.

One suggestion for improvement would be to vary the language and imagery throughout the poem. While the poem effectively conveys the emotions and sentiments associated with children, some of the descriptions and phrases could be more vivid and unique. For example, instead of using phrases like "It hits me deep inside" or "It’s like I feel the Lord is standing very near," consider using more specific and evocative language to create a stronger impact on the reader.

Additionally, the poem could benefit from more specific and concrete examples to support the ideas presented. For instance, instead of mentioning a child praying, you could describe a particular prayer or a specific moment that captures the essence of a child's

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hello Steve, your poem moves good, nice rhythm.
I would stay with it and work more on the cadence, I would.

The theme I doubt I could carry like you, don't get me wrong but just not my fav, to be honest.

Logical? I'm not that sure if so. It's a big opinion. So, I'll just say that I understood it.

It was a good read, thanks,
Mark,

Read/Comment it's a win win

Join a contest!
If you need to know how then just ask me :~)

I was here now I disappear..

Thank you for your input

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.