Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Fisherman

Submitted by Stevo on Fri, 2024-07-19 13:00

It had been a harrowing night,
The cold Atlantic spray had chilled him to the bone, his fingers and hands were numb.

His angels and demons had fought a fierce battle throughout the night, neither willing to concede
His sails were torn and tattered
And his body bruised and battered,
but all was not lost… not yet.

Somehow he manoeuvred through the tempest and headed in the direction of an obscure and distant beacon. He had been to sea far too many times and one way or another this would be his last trip.

Hours later, the storm had finally subsided. He saluted the beacon as he slowly passed by before tying up at the dock for the last time. Only his skill and a strong will to survive had brought him back alive. With all of his possessions stuffed into a sack he stepped ashore, grateful to have his feet on solid ground.

She knew he was a fisherman when she became his bride some thirty years prior. She hated every time he sailed away not knowing if he’d be back. He was a sorry sight but she was happy to see him when he walked through the door. He had cheated death one more time and his angels and demons had finally called a truce…at least for now.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2024-07-19 19:00

neopoet's picture
Volunteer badge

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Fisherman" effectively captures the intense and perilous journey of a seasoned sailor battling the elements of the sea. The imagery of the torn sails, bruised body, and inner conflict between angels and demons creates a vivid picture of struggle and resilience. The theme of survival and the emotional toll on loved ones waiting ashore are poignant and relatable.

To enhance the poem further, consider exploring deeper emotions and internal struggles of the fisherman. Delve into his thoughts and feelings during the storm, his reflections on life and mortality, and the impact of his dangerous profession on his relationships. Adding more sensory details and vivid descriptions can immerse the reader further into the harrowing experience at sea.

Additionally, you may want to experiment with the structure of the poem to create a more dynamic flow. Consider playing with line breaks, stanza lengths, or poetic devices like repetition or enjambment to add rhythm and impact to the narrative.

Overall, "The Fisherman" is a compelling piece

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.