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The Changing Of The Guard
Spring's blanket of dew
upon the rolling green...
sparkling like diamonds
as the morning sun's rays
come seeking over the horizon.
Summer's curtain of mist
A fine haze outside my window...
A hint of movement in my garden
just beyond the terrace
a short squat gnome perhaps?
Autumn's turning of landscapes,
whisperings of lover's secrets.
A time for sighs and sweet kisses
long slow walks, by the lake holding hands,
passion's kindling becomes a bonfire.
Awakening in the morning
open the drapes, hoist the blinds.
Winter has arrived during the night
In amazement and wonder, I smile
Sparkling snow covers the ground
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Northwestern Wisconsin USA
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Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-12-19 19:31
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The Changing Of The Guard" effectively employs vivid imagery to depict the changing of seasons. The use of metaphorical language such as "Spring's blanket of dew" and "Summer's curtain of mist" provides a sensory experience, allowing readers to visualize and feel the essence of each season.
However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of figurative language. The transition from summer to autumn, for instance, lacks the metaphorical language present in the other stanzas. Instead of simply stating "Autumn's turning of landscapes," consider incorporating a metaphor similar to the ones used in the other stanzas to maintain the poem's stylistic consistency.
The final stanza, which introduces winter, could also be enhanced. The phrase "to my amazement and wonder, I smile" seems to break the pattern of the previous stanzas by introducing a personal reaction. To maintain the observational tone of the poem, consider describing winter's arrival in a more detached manner, similar to the previous stanzas.
Lastly, the poem's rhythm and flow could be improved. The lines vary significantly in length, which can disrupt the rhythm. Consider revising the poem to create a more consistent rhythm, which could enhance the overall reading experience.
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Lavender
Tue, 2023-12-19 21:52
The Changing of the Guard
Hello, Cat!
I really enjoyed this! You've mentioned the most delightful qualities of each season. I think my favorite line is "...a short, squat gnome, perhaps?" I'm thinking you had fun with this one. It might help me appreciate winter more after reading your lovely poem.
Thank you!
L
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-12-20 13:53
Dear Lavender,
Yes, I did enjoy writing this poem... it came from the heart. Thank you for your lovely thoughts!
*love, Cat
*
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author commentGeezer
Wed, 2023-12-20 12:32
You need to restructure last
You need to restructure last three lines.
Winter has arrived during the night
In amazement and wonder, I smile
Sparkling snow covers the ground
Although Summer is my favorite season,
I have to say that the first lines and Spring
are the ones that captured my attention.
Early morning dew, is one of the things that I most love to look upon
first thing in the morning. I can imagine the sun creeping up over the hill
and shining through thousands of water prisms.
The white, diamond light leaping up to meet the eyes. Nicely done. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-12-20 14:13
Dear Geezer,
Thank you for your keen eye and your help. I appreciate it greatly. I'm a Winter person now. I love sitting in my easy chair across from glass deck doors watching the snow come down. A nice fire in the fireplace and a cup of hot coffee in hand help to set the pleasure of my mood!
*hugs & love, Cat
*when I had good us of my legs, I loved the Autumn and strolling through the falling leaves.
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentWilliam Lynn
Wed, 2023-12-20 18:50
Hi Cat.
Hi Cat.
I really enjoyed the poem and it reminds me of the type of poem Rod McKuen might have written. Both the subject matter and the flow of the poem reminds me of Rod McKuen.
Thanks for the memories, I love McKuen's work. Gone way too soon.
Happy Holidays. - Will
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-12-21 08:22
hello Will,
I was given a poetry book by Rod McKuen by my soon to be husband (at the time) because he knew I loved poetry. I reclined in the bottom of a sailboat reading it, while he maned the wheel. It was near Pensacola Florida. He also gave me "Mason Williams Reading Matter" (who was a bit strange. but I loved Rod McKuen's poetry, such splendid observations and he loved cats, too!
thank you for your lovely comment and thoughts!
*hugs and holidays, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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author commentRuby Lord
Thu, 2023-12-21 06:57
Hi Cat, I enjoyed the
Hi Cat, I enjoyed the romantic quality of your poem and I could imagine you and Steve walking by the lake holding hands. Lovely imagery, made all the better by putting you two at the heart of the scene. Ruby :) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-12-21 08:27
Thank You Ruby,
for reading and the gift of your lovely comment! we had many such walks...riding to the lake on our motorcycles with fishing gear, then finishing up with a nice stroll as the sun set.
*love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentShelby Pryor
Thu, 2023-12-21 14:56
I think...
This was really well-written. I didn't see anything that I would change. Great work!!!
Candlewitch
Thu, 2023-12-21 15:08
Dear Shelby,
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment on my poem! It is greatly appreciated :)
*happy holidays, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentSheddie
Thu, 2023-12-21 19:35
Times Changing in a Lovely Way
This is one beautiful piece.
A poem that took its time to capture the changes that comes along with different seasons
Every word, every line makes me feel at ease
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-01-31 07:28
hello Sheddie
thank you for telling me what you enjoyed, and the comment itself.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
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