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Breathing

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Sun, 2023-10-08 04:43

My meek and mild mother, who gave birth to me;
my solemn, sad father, who died needlessly.
I gave them both up: one to Life, one to Death,
and now I breathe freely my own bastard breath!

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Loony lines composed as I was walking through a South Yorkshire Ginnel…
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Sun, 2023-10-08 10:43

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem titled "Breathing." I appreciate the emotional depth and personal reflection conveyed in your words. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Imagery: Consider incorporating more vivid and sensory imagery to enhance the reader's experience. This can help create a stronger emotional impact. For example, instead of describing your parents as "meek and mild" or "solemn and sad," you could use specific details or metaphors to paint a clearer picture.

2. Structure and Flow: Pay attention to the flow and structure of your poem. While the brevity of your lines adds to the overall impact, it might be beneficial to experiment with different line breaks or stanza arrangements. This can create a more dynamic rhythm and enhance the overall flow of your poem.

3. Word Choice: Be mindful of your word choice to ensure precision and clarity. Consider exploring different synonyms or alternative phrasing to add variety and depth to your poem. This can help engage the reader and make your

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

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