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Breaking News

I opened up that daily page
To awaken my daily rage

I read about our Country’s woes
And read about our Country’s foes

I learned at an early age
That each new day brought a brand new page

I was surprised to see
That today I had good reason for glee

I read the daily lottery page for fun
And to my amazement found I won!

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I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Breaking News" effectively employs a simple AABB rhyme scheme, which aids in creating a rhythmic flow. The use of repetition, particularly with the word "page", helps to create a sense of continuity and cohesion throughout the piece.

However, the poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary and more complex sentence structures. This could help to create a more engaging and nuanced narrative. For example, instead of "I opened up that daily page", consider using more descriptive language to convey the same idea, such as "I unfurled the crisp, ink-stained page".

The transition from discussing the country's woes and foes to winning the lottery is abrupt. The poem might benefit from a smoother transition or a clearer connection between these two themes. This could be achieved by introducing the idea of the lottery earlier in the poem or by providing more context for the shift in tone.

The poem's ending, while surprising, could be made more impactful with the use of more vivid imagery or a stronger emotional reaction from the speaker. Instead of simply stating "And to my amazement found I won!", consider describing the speaker's reaction in more detail or exploring the implications of this unexpected event.

Overall, the poem has a strong structure and a clear narrative, but could be enhanced with more varied language, smoother transitions, and a more impactful ending.

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