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Angelina!

Submitted by Leslie on Sun, 2023-05-21 15:51

Angelina by the sea
Angelina, wild and free
giving in to April showers
chasing radiant springtime flowers
carelessly her heart succumbs
falling into her lover’s arms
slipping off her shoes and socks
opening pandoras box
gazing up as if in a trance
loving eyes retrace her glance
quietly makes her way back home
Angelina all alone!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
just thought I would write something different!
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2023-05-21 15:51

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem captures the carefree spirit of Angelina and her unbridled passion for life and love. The imagery of her chasing springtime flowers and surrendering to the allure of a lover's embrace is vivid and evocative. The reference to Pandora's box adds a touch of mystery and danger to the narrative, lending an element of unpredictability to Angelina's journey.

Overall, the poem flows smoothly and effectively conveys the theme of living life to the fullest and embracing the beauty of nature and human connection. However, there is one line that could benefit from a minor edit. In the third line, "giving up for April showers" could be changed to "giving in to April showers" to better align with the theme of surrendering to life's experiences.

With this suggested edit, the poem would be even stronger and more cohesive in its presentation of Angelina's story.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Leslie

Sun, 2023-05-21 16:40

Leslie's picture

Thanks again neo!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2023-05-22 09:23

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I see this as a hidden idea kind of poem. I think there is a purpose for Angelina's taking off her shoes and socks but can't quite put my finger on it. Angel's gift bestowed is something she has given from her position. ~ Geezer.
.

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