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ADONAI!

Submitted by Leslie on Wed, 2023-03-08 07:16

I’m more than what you see
There’s something deep inside me
That makes me laugh, makes me cry
That oft times makes me feel like dying
What purpose would it serve
To do something that absurd
So, when I’m down I hold it back
I collect my thoughts to stay on track
And when the night is dark and cold
I think of all the stories told
Held within my frenzied mind
And close my eyes
Take a breath or two
And silently remember You!
That someday I might dwell with you!
Adonai, Adonai, Adonai!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Last few words: 
I can't seem to find the words to adequately express myself, there are so many people that I don't want to offend, because my views are so strong on the subject before me, but please render a reply to help clarify my thoughts. I want this to come out just right. I'm lonely, cold and tired and have an illness that sometimes plagues me both day and night. What's said has been said and I think I've made it clear enough to help you understand. Where it is that I stand. Thank you for any comments that you might have.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Wed, 2023-03-08 18:48

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I’m sorry you’re struggling with illness. It seems to me that you are rooted in your faith and although I consider myself atheistic in this sense I can understand exactly where you stand here. No offense could possibly misconstrued to me here. It may be that I am in fact “godless” but I certainly am not faithless and I think it’s faith that’s gets us by regardless where we choose to place that faith.

Tim

Leslie

Wed, 2023-03-08 21:51

Leslie's picture

FAITH IS AN INTERESTING WORD. FAITH, I BELIEVE TO BE SOMETHING REAL AND TANGIBLE. MAYBE
THE SUBSTANCE FROM WHICH LIGHT IS FORMED OR IN OTHER WORDS THE POWER WHICH GOVERNS THE UNIVERSE, KEEPS IT IN ITS PROPER ORDER. I SUPPOSE NO ONE KNOWS BUT IT IS INTERESTING. AS FAR AS SUFFERING GOES. I DON'T MEAN TO BRING ANYONE DOWN. I ONLY HOPE ENLIGHTEN ANYONE I CAN ABOUT
MENTAL ILLNESS AND SO I BRING IT UP IN SOME OF MY POETRY BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR AWARENESS. IF YOU EVER DESIRE TO LEARN MORE JUST REPLY TO THIS OR ANY OTHER MESSAGE OR POEM.IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE A MUSICIAN AND HAVE RECORDED SOME. I THINK I SAW A LINK IN ONE OF YOUR REPLIES. I WILL TRY TO FIND IT AND LISTEN. IN ANY EVENT, THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTERESTING IDEAS ON FAITH.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Thu, 2023-03-09 04:04

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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k7HgrOKQaYs&list=OLAK5uy_mFld6MguMmVaFkEw4...

Leslie

Thu, 2023-03-09 07:13

Leslie's picture

This is a great song, very well organized and melodic with a positive message! I like that! If I come at it as a guitarist I
would say it sounds a lot like Jerry Garcia and company. It also sounds a lot like something Darius Rucker might have
written. What a talent you have! Thanks for sharing! The vocals sound a little like Pete Townshend. Thanks again for commenting!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Fri, 2023-03-10 06:13

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You cannot possibly know how inflated my ego got reading that commentary. You’ve placed in ridiculously talented company and being compared to my heroes is gratifying and dangerous. That being said, I think you’re pretty close in your summation and I appreciate this critique as invaluable because I can tell you’re a fan of music and I can also tell you have a gifted ear. This adds a lot of gravity to such positive reinforcement.

Thank you so much,
Tim

Leslie

Fri, 2023-03-10 11:27

Leslie's picture

I'm happy that what I wrote boosted your self esteem. That was a great mix job. How many tracks were on it, I still wonder?

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment

Rosewood Apothecary

Fri, 2023-03-10 18:52

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Probably in the neighborhood of 21-24 tracks. The drum bus for that whole album is 12 tracks excepting this song has the tambourine so 13 tracks in that drum mix but, two are ambient room (left and right) and two are the reverb treatments for those mics. I regret not using his stems for the actual kit but it was important I learned to mix the kit from scratch as this was really my first attempt at recording an album entirely on my own. I’ve since changed my methods and his drum sound is much better than mine and it drops in my mixes nicely without me having to worry over 12 tracks and treatments.

Four vocal tracks. Myself and my bassist who harmonizes the entire lead vocal line. Myself and my sister sing the backing vocal harmony arrangements.

Rhythm guitar, lead guitar, B3 organ, strings (one track, actual played on a keyboard), bass guitar.

It’s a different thing in this recording than it was when we used to play it live where it was much more raw indie rock. Daddie Long Legs is no longer a band but my bass player is still with me and I’ve taken to playing all the lead and keys myself. I’m a horrible drummer so I recruited the local hero for that role and he’s familiar to me. Great drummer and good sound engineer too.

A lifetime ago.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hoREjdxXUXQ

Leslie

Fri, 2023-03-10 20:38

Leslie's picture

Thanks for the personal info. I wonder how many hours you put into the recordings, none the less it's great stuff. You have a great talent. It felt smooth and very professional. Thanks for sharing.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

author comment
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